:: Sparrow Tales ::

:: Attached ::

2010-11-21T23:23:00.000-08:00

I love being attached. Part of the love is that I know it can't last, just like this, forever. Or even for very long really. While I whine inwardly sometimes that I can't do simple and basic things for myself, like paint my toenails whenever or eat my dinner uninterrupted, mostly I love this attachment.

:: now that Archer can sit they play next to each other sometimes ::

:: wrapped up in our Beco and Peekaru vest at the Skypark ::

I'm not sure exactly where the term "attachment parenting" originated, but it certainly isn't a new or an original concept. In fact most cultures in the world have attached babies and mamas (or grandmamas, or whatever.) For me it's just a time in my baby's life when I am with him, and in contact with him almost all the time. Right now he's sleeping next to me on the couch, wrapped in a cozy cotton blanket.

In the morning is one of the few times Archer and I are not in close contact, which is fine since he's usually pretty cheerful in the am. He plays in the Circle of Neglect (aka the exersaucer) in the kitchen while I make coffee, cocoa, and breakfast for myself, the Sparrow and Archer B. The rest of the day is spent playing and getting some floor time now that he's a sitter, with lots of time in the carrier. He hangs with Mummy in our Butterfly II and has his first nap of the day in the carrier or on Mummy's lap in one of the chairs at work. When I make dinner at night he often rides on my back or plays with Dadda. Bath times are great now since can sit and he really loves his bath with big brother Sparrow. He practically flies out of my arms into the tub to get in there with the Sparrow and the bubbles!

:: our cozy sanctuary ::

But night time is our special time. Spencer likes sleeping in the guest room on the futon, and this works out fine for all right now. He has to get up really early to go to work (5:30am, ugh) and it's usually at a time when Archer's having an early am nurse. So Archer and I get the queen-size bed all to ourselves and it's awesome. I barely notice when he nurses in the night, and he nurses a few times at least, more towards the morning. We sleep on a Nana-made quilt in case there are spit-ups or diaper issues. We are cozy and snuggled all night. I love cuddling with my littlest boy, and he is a really good sleeper. I am so thankful that Spencer doesn't mind sleeping on his own, and right now it works best for us since Archer's night-eating would keep Spencer up anyway. I never thought I would be one of those married people who sleep in separate rooms, but while Archer is a co-sleeper and a night-nurser it works so well for us.

:: Nana came to visit for a week for the Sparrow's birthday ::

:: first time for the Sparrow in rubber boots! ::

I cherish this time with my youngest, and am often reminded of this time I had with the Sparrow, too. He was a Beco baby and had his naps in it at the store for many months after we first opened. I love to smell the top of a little fuzzy baby head while he is cozy with his mama in dreamland, in the carrier or in bed at night. There is something so sweet and universal about a baby receiving that perfect comfort from mother.

2010-10-21T23:17:00.000-07:00

So many things have changed since little Sparrow became a walker. When I get home from work, I can take him out of the van and he walks to the stairs, crawls up them, and knocks on the door for Dadda to let him in. He does the same thing when we arrive at work, freeing up my arms for Archer and one of our many bags.

:: my baby at 7 months with his adorable face and rainbow drool-proof bandana bib. no more wet shirts! ::

We go to the playground now, and he loves watching the other kids and walking around taking it all in. We have this great new playground in town, built by the Rotary. The ground is made from recycled tires so it's slightly bouncy, and it's all abilities accessible. The merry-go-round even has room in the center for a wheelchair, and it's at ground level which is safer and easier for kids to get on and off. Sparrow loves this merry-go-round and would probably stay on it all day if I let him! He holds on tight to the bar and says "Wheeee!" over and over. He is happy to let the other kids push.

:: first time at the playground, and walking to boot! ::

:: he surprised me and walked right onto this ride when it slowed and stopped ::

:: first time walking on the beach, in the sand ::

He walked for the first time on the beach the other day, when we all headed out to the airpark walk / new playground / beach. The tide was pretty far out, but he was upset when we turned around without him getting to see the "agua" so Spencer carried him over so he could see.

:: the Eagle and the Salmon; my Scorpio and Pisces boys ::

:: scuttling in the sand with Mama Crab ::

Another cute milestone for the Sparrow came with the introduction of a cute retro Tupperware tea set. I left it at work, hoping that Sparrow and Ronan could play tea time, and to our surprise, they actually did! It's so cute to hear him say, "Tea!" and see him drink his pretend tea and eat his pretend snack. I let him practice at home with a little jug of water and he can pour with success most of the time. Thus far his imagination play has involved mostly vehicles, so this new game is very exciting.

:: tea! you can see his cute walking shoes, too ::

Bed times have been a lot smoother these days thanks to a much earlier bed time. Sparrow is not a napper any longer, which is fine with me since we're at work anyway during nap time and there are many things to occupy him there. But no nap means he's tuckered by 7:30, whereas he used to go to bed at 9:30pm or later! So he is in the bath right after dinner, and then it's tooth-brush time and bed for the boy. If Archer is not fussing then he gets his story too. He is usually in bed by 8pm lately which gives me ample time to get Archer bathed and in jammies for bed. Sparrow has always liked bed time and when he's really tired or having a bad evening he plaintively asks for "Nie-nie!" I think he likes the new early routine because he isn't so whiny and tantrum-y in the evenings now as there's no wait for bed time after dinner.

Cover of Super Baby FoodArcher has been eating solids for a month now, and so far has eaten bananas, sweet potatoes, brown rice cereal, Baby Mum-mum crackers, and butternut squash. He didn't really get it at first like Liam did, and it took me awhile to figure out that he didn't know he should open his mouth when the food comes, or that eating food makes your tummy feel good! I think he liked the Mum-mums because they feel good on his poor gums. He has two teeth on the bottom that have mostly cut through the gums. He seems to "get it" now, and with the occasional reminder to open his mouth for the spoon, feeding him is fun. I very highly recommend the book Super Baby Food. It is my handbook for feeding a baby and then toddler. It has absolutely everything one needs to know to make all homemade baby food, including how much and how often, at what age to introduce different foods,with hundreds of recipes and very detailed instructions. The nutritional aspect is very well-researched also. I cannot recommend it enough.

:: A Sweet Mystery ::

2010-10-08T17:38:00.000-07:00

Image via Wikipedia

Since it's Thanksgiving Weekend here in the Great White North, I feel this post is entirely appropriate!

For over two years I have been plagued by a food mystery. I searched high and low, I asked produce managers and lackeys at the grocery stores, I tried good old Google and internet nutritional havens. I recently got out of hock at the library, and was prepared to check out the information available there (sorry, punny) but my favourite baby food book had the answer I needed! I love a good mystery solved.

My conundrum was: What is a sweet potato and what is a yam? I knew from what I had read that sweet potatoes are nutritional wonders, packed with Vitamin A and all sorts of great things. And I knew that yams have almost no nutritional value.

When you go the grocery store, there are some root vegetables which have a light brown skin and the cooked flesh is a very pale yellow, and the texture is similar to a white potato. Then there is the beautiful orange-fleshed variety with a darker skin, pictured above, with a creamier-textured flesh. I prefer the taste and texture of the orange coloured variety, meself. The problem is, every place seemed to call them yam and sweet potato either interchangeably or opposite from the next place.

Atlas Café has "yam fries" made from the orange variety. One of the grocery stores in town has a sign which reads: "yams/sweet potatoes". What the eff? On the interwebs I could not find a solid definition of which was which. When Liam was a baby and I was introducing solids, I made the decision that the whiter-coloured variety must be a sweet potato, and so I never fed him the orange-coloured "yams". I didn't want to feed my baby something with no nutritional value!

But the mystery has been solved! In the back of my favourite baby food bible, Super Baby Food, she explains that in North America, there ARE no yams! Yams are a foreign produce item, but we commonly call the different varieties of sweet potatoes here "yams". So the white-fleshed and the orange-fleshed sweet potatoes are both nutritionally dense. And might I add, delicious.

:: These Shoes Were Made For Walkin' ::

2010-10-06T16:07:00.000-07:00

Image via Wikipedia

Well, I may be a blogger slacker these days, but lately I barely have time to read my favourite blogs, let alone write one! Well, enough excuses, I have important things to relay here.

Spencer and I are just over the Moon these days, because our little Sparrow is finally a walker! On September 4th, (okay, a month ago now, holy cow) we bribed our first born with Skittles, and he walked across the living room to Dadda! Skittles were a totally new treat for him, and Dadda's spontaneous bribe did the trick and motivated him to go for it. He needed to stop thinking about it and try it, and it has been amazing to see him improve since then.

Thirty-four months is a very long time to wait for your child to walk, and at times it seemed he would never be a walker. Don't even get me started on other parents who think they know how it's been for us, and moan over how their little one took a whopping 17 months to walk - it's not the same. Or the people who tell me that now he's walking, my life is going to be so much harder. When your child is about to turn three years old, you are ready for him to go from room to room on his own two feet! We have missed out on so many fun activities over the past two years because there are some things there is no point in participating in if your child is immobile. We might actually go to the pumpkin patch this year! (Ed: we did, today!)

At our last visit with Diane, Liam's physiotherapist, she gave us some more core exercises to build his strength, and she explained that at his age he was over-thinking everything. Whereas a younger toddler will just go for it and start waddling away, Liam knew the consequences and so was very hesitant to try on his own. After a few tries for the Skittles he knew he could do it, and he has progressed in leaps and bounds since then. I am actually shocked it's been exactly a month - time is flying by these days!

:: dirty and sleeping on the kitchen floor. Mum of the Year Award for me! ::

To celebrate his new skill, I knew he needed a new pair of real shoes. His leather Robeez were too tight around his fat little ankles, and they don't work as outside shoes. He was wearing a pair of Holey Soles (knock-off Crocs) but his feet are so thick that he had little circle indents on the tops of his feet whenever I took them off. So I splurged and got him a good quality pair of leather shoes with rubber soles; flexible but firm. They fit his little potato feet perfectly! We have noticed that he walks a lot better when he is wearing them, too. And they will last him a long time since his feet (as well as the rest of him) grow slowly. Archer may or may not ever wear them, because he grows like a weed.

:: Sparrow's new kicks, called "Ariston" from See Kai Run ::

I had a day off today, and my boys and I had a great time running around town. We started the day off with chocolate cupcakes (nutless, and with this AMAZING icing that has been removed from Tasty Kitchen. I will type it out later). Then we went to Comox, where we picked up a few grocery items and I bought a new Brita jug. We finally had to retire our old one, which I'd had for over ten years! It was a gift from my Mum when I moved out on my own. It has had a crack in it for awhile, which finally moved far enough South to render the jug leaky and useless. In a nerdy way I'm super-excited to have a new one! Then we at cheese buns and went to Otter's Kitchen Cove where I wanted to inquire about Fiestaware. I really wanted a price list for the different pieces, as I'd like full service for eight one day. I am planning on winning on The Pioneer Woman, but I always try to have a Plan B as well.

We then walked down the street to Planet Kids, where I had won a $10 GC in a fun facebook contest. Sparrow loves it there, and they have so many great toys and learning supplies. He happily played with a "Buh" or a Bus, and I picked out a new (to us) pair of leather slippers for Archer, and a new book for the Sparrow. It is one of my faves: The Paper Bag Princess! Robert Munsch is one of my favourite kids' authors, and I will never forget hearing him read at the Vancouver Children's Festival, and "making it rain".

After the "too-ee dore" as Liam calls the toy store (which he did NOT want to leave) we went to the new all-abilities playground. It was built so that kids with different levels of ability can access all the features. There is room on the kid-powered merry-go-round for a wheelchair, and the whole thing is wheelchair accessible in general. The swing is a giant platform with padded edges which hangs from four cables. Liam loved the squishy ground in between the "wheeees", and while I was nervous that he wouldn't like it or get overwhelmed, he surprised me and absolutely loved it! He wandered around for a bit and watched the other kids, and didn't seem nervous until a little girl ran up to him and screamed in his face. He got over it pretty quickly, and eventually decided he wanted to go on the merry-go-round! The other kids stopped to let him on, and helped him make it over to a pole, and he held on and had fun for over half an hour! Archer slept in the Beco the whole time, and the weather was Liam's favourite - sunny with a cold wind.

Being at the park with all the other kids and parents made me realize that I used to hang out at the park several times a week when we lived in Vancouver, because I almost always had a job as a nanny while we lived there. But since having my own store, and a child who didn't walk until 34 months old, I have been park-less. It was fun being back, and it is definitely different when you go with your own child.

At home later on we had leftover Chicken Tikka Masala with PC Naan Bread, coconut rice with peas, and cilantro, and it was incredible. Boys were in bed early, and I actually blogged! I love October.

:: Tunnel of Doom ::

2010-08-17T02:54:00.000-07:00

Toddlers are some of my favourite people. They are curious, silly, unreasonable, imaginative, just starting out, and most of all: pretty damn funny.

Example: Little A getting upset and yelling at her mummy that her foot is stuck to her leg!

Example: R receiving the explanation that "Spiderman is as big as daddy." from his mummy, in preparation of Spiderman making a guest appearance at his birthday party.

Example: Spencer makes a really realistic choo-choo whistle, using his hands in front of his mouth. (Side note: I taught myself how to do this as a teenager, but have since lost the skill.) He did this for the first time for little Sparrow the other morning, while we were all having a family cuddle in bed. Sparrow was lying on Dadda's tummy, and he freaked out, and started screaming and crying, and clawing at Spencer's mouth. He was trying to get the choo-choo out from the scary Dadda choo-choo tunnel. Apparently daddies eat trains.

:: Archer and a rainbow of diapers - which I will write about soon ::

:: my funny Sparrow-boy! ::

:: Progress ::

2010-08-03T19:53:00.000-07:00

I'm so excited to see all the little changes again in Archer, things my mummy brain have forgotten since Liam was really wee. He does everything on a completely different time-line than Liam did, but they're still the same baby milestones. His smiles were reliable now at three months, when he'd been doing it for a month . We have gotten laughs out of him as well, those hesitant and gutturally delicious belly-laughs babies have in the beginning. He definitely has a sense of humour, and loves it when his Tia and I laugh to get him to laugh. I just love that big gummy grin, and his eyes seriously twinkle.

:: my baby - 4 months old ::

He sleeps with me at night, and when Dada has to work, he sleeps in the guest room., leaving the deliciously comfortable bed for me and Archer. This honestly works best for us right now, as Archer's cues for a night feed disturb Daddy, and Daddy's getting-ready-for-work-routine at 5am disturbs me and Archer. Also, we have a new mattress and I'm happy to hog it all! Archer is more of a bed hog than Liam was so co-sleeping with him requires more room for baby due to his increased mobility. I am pretty spoiled most nights and get a few good solid chunks of sleep, aside from nights like tonight when I stay up late.

He started rolling over at two months old, and for a few weeks he could do it when he was in the right mood - it takes a lot of strength. But now at four months he's an old pro, and rolls onto his tummy like it ain't no thang. He can also roll onto his back again, but he doesn't do this as often. It's so funny for me to see a baby who loves tummy-time, which he usually does for a few good minutes before he decides it's too much work. His back arches and his little toes scrape the blanket and he wings his arms around. He knows that there's something he's supposed to be doing (crawling!) but he doesn't know just what it is yet.

:: he can get around quite well and steer with this walker ::

And while Liam remains challenging, and ornery, and hyper-sensitive to changes and situations where he's not 100% appeased, I still have many lovely moments with him every day. I have to hold on to these, because thinking about quiet snuggles during story-time at night can get me through a gut-wrenching, screaming tantrum. His ordinary (hah!) two-year old tantrums are exacerbated by a few things: he cannot express himself verbally at the same level of his understanding, and the two are much more disproportionate than for other kids his age, and also he can't remove himself with any ease from situations he doesn't like. He feels trapped when he's on a couch or any bed besides his own. Even though he could physically get down and walk if he tried, he doesn't bother. He has taken steps on his own, but doesn't seem motivated to take any more. And this ends up frustrating him when he gets "stuck" places. But not enough to motivate him to move!

:: getting ready for the walk to work, before it got too hot to walk ::

We practice walking with the Sparrow every day, many times a day. He walks while holding our hands, and he has two different walkers that he occasionally uses. We take a step away from him and try to get him to come towards us, but no dice. He does not seem to want to walk, even though we know he is physically capable. He can walk with his doggy-shaped walker with no problem, and barely even holds onto it! I made an appointment with his PT for next week, since she usually is good for tips and things to motivate him.

So while he is very, very close to being completely mobile, he is still stuck for now. It is funny in a weird way to see how quickly Archer seems to progress in comparison - it took about three sessions in the Jolly Jumper at three months old before he "got" it and really started hopping around. He can roll over and is strong enough to move himself backwards on a flat surface with his feet. It is automatic for him to stand when I hold him under his arms, and I still have to remind Liam!

:: tie-dye boys watching the boob-tube in the back room at the shop ::

We are still on the waiting list to see a speech therapist for Liam, but I have noticed some progress there lately! Strangely the progress seems to coincide with his new love for Thomas and Friends, or Choo-Choo (Liam says "koo-koo"). I created a youtube playlist with all different Thomas videos - some are narrated by George Carlin or Alec Baldwin (the American versions I guess) and the British ones are narrated by Ringo Starr! I love hearing his Liverpudlian accent. Anyway, the difference in this show compared to other videos he likes to watch is that the episodes are always narrated. And Liam has been mimicking the stories! He started by repeating certain exclamations that the engines say, and now I hear him repeating things all the time. He seems to do this more when I'm "not paying attention" (so he thinks). And I have noticed a jump in his vocabulary since he started mimicking, which I recently learned is a beginner milestone in language development. Some of his new words are really difficult to understand, and we occasionally end up doing a guessing game for me to find out what he's saying. But it is so reassuring to see some progress for him. It really is a downer sometimes to see other kids developing in leaps and bounds around him, so little things like this give me hope.

:: Daddy built Sparrow a sandbox! Daddy is good at making things for free.

Sparrow has a thing with "textures" since he doesn't walk or explore yet,

and the sandbox is helping him get over that (we hope) ::

I love seeing the differences between them, and strangely the similarities are, at this point, not as easy to point out. I think so far they both have a very sweet spirit, and I'm a lucky mum in that I have two self-entertaining boys. Neither one minds being alone for a short time, and Liam likes playing by himself. They both seem to have a goofy sense of humour like their dad and me, and can switch emotions quickly. (Water family: Pisces Daddy, Cancer Mummy, Sparrow Scorpio, Archer Pisces - even the pets are Cancer and Scorpio!) I have two boys!

:: Brothers ::

2010-06-19T11:04:00.000-07:00

I've been surprised by the feeling lately that our family is complete. Despite challenging moments (many, many challenging moments with our Sparrow these days) I find it wonderful to be mama to two boys!

All through my pregnancy with Archer I thought we were having a girl. So did Spencer. It just seemed right to us that our family would be one boy, one girl. After all, both our families had (originally) one of each, and then Spencer gained a step-brother at age four.

People like to guess which gender you're carrying around inside you when they see a blooming belly. Many were surprised when I told them that we didn't know, and we were going to wait for the birth to find out. I wouldn't have minded either way. The practical side of me wanted to know the gender ahead of time, so that I could continue to nest, nest, nest and organize clothes and other baby items. But the romantic part of me told me it would be such a wonderful surprise on baby's birthday. As I was hoping for a VBAC, actually getting to hold my baby and meet it as soon as it came into the world would be the most amazing opportunity to find out the gender for myself.

But we didn't know while I was pregnant, not for sure. Almost everyone guessed that Archer was a girl. Some people very adamantly guaranteed we were having a girl. Thinking back, I'm sure most of the guesses were a reflection of my desires - I wanted a girl. A girl would complete our family.

I imagined Liam as the big brother to a little sister. I imagined picking out girls' clothes, and making cute dresses and other items that are easy to sew. Spencer and I just felt like this one was a girl. Since I knew that hunches and feelings aren't always correct, I also spent some time imagining being the mother of two boys. I had a harder time with this.

Knowing that this baby was average-sized, and so would one day be taller than Liam, meant different things if we had a boy baby versus girl the second time around. I couldn't decide which would be harder on Liam growing up, or if it will be hard for him at all to always be the "little" brother. Since Archer seems to be very "above average" in every measurement of size, I don't think he'll be the little brother for long - a matter of months perhaps.

Probably the main reason I wanted baby number two to be a girl is because it made, and still makes, me sad to think of my life as a mother without a daughter. My mum is such an important person in my life, and I owe so much of who I am to her and the things she has taught me consciously and unconsciously. There is a special bond between mother and daughter that I'm not sure is the same with mother and son. It was something I wanted in my life, something which I think is possible less and less every day.

I don't see it happening in my future, because my family feels complete. In the rare moments when I can snuggle both boys, or practice my new trick which is to take them out of the van one in each arm, it feels whole. Like these two little people are my reason for being right now, they are my most important project. And since they're little, my time is spent doing millions of little things, but that's okay. Nothing too big right now because they are young. And even though times are very challenging with a two and a half year old who doesn't walk, and can't talk, and has extreme emotional mood swings, I know that won't last forever and more good times are coming. Both boys are changing and learning new things every day, and getting closer and closer to interacting, which will be a whole new miracle.

:: see? he can stand, he just doesn't want to walk ::

2010-06-03T09:02:00.000-07:00

Something I have discovered about myself in the past few months is this: I really hate being ill. Feeling weak from anemia and in terrible pain after Archer's birth was horrible for me. Recently I also had a lovely gastrointestinal visitor which resulted in much vomiting and diarrhea for the better part of a day. Then almost one week later I developed mastitis in one of my breasts which gave me flu-like symptoms and lethargy, not to mention intense pain. I realize that I don't usually get sick very often, and in the past I didn't really mind. I would feel silly calling in sick to work, but sometimes it has to be done, especially if what I had was contagious. But these days I hate being sick because I have two little ones, and they need me.

:: cozy-time with both boys on the couch - rare because the Sparrow doesn't

usually fall asleep out of bed ::

The weekend before my parents came to visit, and before I started going back to work, I woke up after Spencer had gone to work with a terrible stomach ache. As an aside, Spencer now works in town full-time (!) with a new company, and no longer has to leave the Island for three days a week to support us, and neither does he have to work on-call in town the rest of the week. He just has one normal job, which is Monday to Friday, and every other Saturday for a few hours in the early morning. This is amazing for our whole family, and I'll write more about it later.

:: ♥ my boys ♥ ::

So it was one of those Saturdays when he had to work, and I was expecting him home around 10:30 or 11:00 am. I had nursed Archer when Spencer got up to go to work around 5:00 am, and he went back to sleeping peacefully beside me, and I could tell from the sound of Liam's snoring in the other room that he was hours from waking up. I went back to sleep with Archer after Spencer left for work.

At around 8:00 am Spencer called me with a wake-up call, and I told him I really didn't feel well, but he felt fine. After we chatted, I knew I was going to be sick so I went to the washroom and was as quiet about it as possible so as not to wake the boys. I made it back into bed after brushing my teeth and called Spencer to let him know that I was sick, actually really sick, and to find out when he thought he would be home.

:: hippie ::

It was the worst possible day for me to be sick. He had just had an accident with his work truck, which is a giant cardboard and garbage truck which lifts the big dumpsters. He thought that the truck was on fire, but it turns out that it was actually leaking hundreds of liters of hydraulic fluid all over Courtenay's main road. Since it was Saturday, and the one man who runs the street-sweeper was "at a barbeque" according to the City, Spencer was going to have to cover all the spilled hydraulic fluid with kitty litter (it absorbs the fluid) and then sweep it up by hand. So he safely parked the truck, got out the traffic cones, and when his boss arrived with another employee they started shoveling out the kitty litter in sections, working around the traffic the whole time. They swept each section by hand, and by the time the whole mess was cleaned up, they had used an entire dumpster full of kitty litter and swept it back up again. Needless to say, this took over eight hours to do, so what was supposed to be a few hours of work turned into a full day away from home and his sick-as-a-dog wife. I didn't want him to lose his new job, so I had no choice but to stick it out with the boys at home.

I spent all day in bed, alternately sweating and shaking with chills, and getting up a few times an hour to vomit into the bath tub while sitting on the toilet for my other end. When Liam woke up I just managed to get him onto his potty, get him some fishy crackers, cocoa and a banana for breakfast, and turn on Sleeping Beauty for him. Then it was back to the bathroom for me! Archer was still sleeping. I crawled back to bed and was in and out of a dozy sleep while Liam watched the three good fairies. I recall that it actually played twice, and he sat on his potty the whole time.

:: night-night time with Papa, sharing stories ::

Archer woke up, and I changed his diaper in bed and fed him again, and as he ate his weight pressed on my stomach and intensified my feelings of nausea. I waited as long as I could, because he seemed sleepy and I thought he might fall asleep again, but finally I had to pull him off to run to the bathroom again. I had waited too long, and didn't make it to the bathroom; I vomited all over the bedroom floor. Luckily by this point there wasn't much left in me except all the water I was trying to drink to hydrate myself. I was really worried about getting dehydrated and my milk diminishing. What would happen if my milk ran out and Archer was hungry? I was all alone and not in any state to drive anywhere.

I cleaned up and crawled back into bed, and spent the next few hours in the same way - peeking in on Liam from the bed to make sure he was okay, nursing Archer when he woke up, vomiting when I had to, and sleeping the rest of the time. I tried to drink water but it just kept coming back up. Miraculously, Archer slept all morning and afternoon, only waking to eat and get a fresh diaper. And Liam was totally happy to watch movies by himself all day, and I later moved him into the living room on the couch.

:: matching jammies from Nana ::

I was on the phone with my business partner Teneille, and called a few other local friends to see if anyone Liam is comfortable with could come over and look after him, and bring me some Gatorade to re-hydrate. Nobody was available. Dee-dee (Liam's favourite Uncle) was in Victoria, and everybody else Liam knows was working. Thankfully Teneille got ahold of our friend Alice, who brought me two big bottles of Gatorade. I had decided to give my stomach a bit of a break before she came over, and that orange drink tasted so good to my dehydrated self. I really think it saved me, and the vomiting stopped after I started drinking it so it actually did me a lot of good. Thank the gods for my angel Alice!

Spencer came home just after 4:00 pm, and I hadn't thrown up for a few hours and was feeling better, although still terribly weak, something I have come to hate. He made dinner and took care of us, and Liam and I were really happy to see him. Archer woke up around 2:00 pm, right around when I stopped vomiting. I don't know what I would have done if he hadn't slept all day, because I needed to sleep too.

:: This was taken back in April, but I didn't find it until recently ::

A week later my parents arrived from Kelowna, and we had a really lovely, if brief, visit over the May long weekend. I had been back to work the previous week, which went much better than I expected. Things just suddenly got easier - Liam stopped hating everything so much, and Archer can be put down for longer periods so I can get ready for work. Liam really likes the routine of going to work most days, including nap time, and Archer spends his day at work with Mummy in the Beco.

Liam loved having Nana and Papa here, and we did some tooting around town, watched movies and cuddled on Jabba the Couch, and even went out for dinner! Nana brought the boys new pajamas as always (so appreciated!) and Papa detailed my van! His home business is detailing vehicles, and he brought all his equipment and cleaners with him and spent all day Monday making my van look brand new! It doesn't have that funny smell any more, and it is a much lighter grey inside than Spencer and I knew ;) It looks amazing and now I'm super anal about the floors and keep a towel in the van to wipe up footprints on the rubber mats.

:: tummy time at almost three months old ::

On Monday I started having flu-like symptoms, with chills, fever and hot flashes. I was worried that I was coming down with something, as my parents were leaving the next day and I had to work, too. But my left breast was very sore, and Archer had a long stretch of sleep the night before without nursing, which left a suspicion in my mind that my symptoms might be mastitis. On Tuesday morning my symptoms hadn't gone away, and my fever was at almost 103°F. I called my girlfriend who had mastitis recently and had been on antibiotics, and she said her symptoms were the same, but with a lump where the blocked ducts were.

I managed to get a doctor's appointment for that afternoon, and lucky for me the doctor I saw had first-hand experience with mastitis and told me how to get rid of it. My chest was red and streaky and very painful, and she could feel the "ropiness", but she said that my mastitis hadn't turned into an abscess yet, and that I could still massage it out and not have to take antibiotics. I really didn't want to have to take them, as they can lead to yeast infections and then thrush for me and Archer, which she said would require another doctor's visit to treat.

:: this one's also from April - flying with Dada! ::

She said to get into a hot shower or bath, and rub the mastitis out towards the nipple as hard as I could. She actually said I had to do it so hard that I would feel like throwing up, because it is very painful. I had to go to work straight after my appointment, where I sat in the back room (luckily it wasn't a very busy day) and massaged away at my breast. Boy, did it hurt, but I kept at it, an continued to nurse Archer because that helps as well.

As soon as I got home I had Dada watch the boys and I got into a hot shower, and tried to rub the mastitis out. I felt some relief from the tightness after my shower, but still felt feverish and achy all over. I showered again before bed, after the boys were asleep, and felt more relief from the pain but wasn't sure it had worked. The doctor had said if it wasn't gone that night that I'd need to fill the antibiotic Rx she had given me the next morning.

:: after bath time with Mummy ::

Sometime in the night I remember waking, drenched in sweat. When I woke up at five with Spencer when his alarm went off, I realized my fever was gone, and had broken in the night! When it was my turn to wake up for work, I didn't feel achy or feverish anymore, and my temperature was normal. However, I didn't know if I was out of the clear because my breast was still so sore. When I looked in the mirror, I realized that the reason for the lingering soreness was that I had actually bruised my poor breast getting the mastitis out! The bruises didn't actually last that long, and barely hurt at all after another day. I'm so glad that I got the doctor I did that day, and that she gave me such excellent advice which I followed. Hopefully I can pass on this info to other women, and maybe save someone else the pain of an abscess and the horrible side-effects which can result from antibiotics.

I am spending a little time each day now feeling grateful for my usual well-health. It truly is something to be thankful for, especially with two little guys who really need me.

:: Talky-Talk ::

2010-05-27T04:03:00.000-07:00

I know that I have been a blogger slacker lately. I seem to have ideas for blog topics frequently, but I forget to write them down, and then forget them entirely. My time is also at a premium now, especially since I'm back to work with both boys. I am going to try and write shorter posts more often and see if that helps.

:: morning cocoa and hoot-hoot-baby ::

Liam has gotten over some of his Hatred For Everything lately with the return of our Regularly Scheduled Program, aka: Going To Work. I think he has also gotten used to Archer, and the fact that our twosome is now a threesome. I'm a little sad that we won't get to be a twosome again for quite awhile, but the new threesome got a lot easier to handle once Archer was about six or seven weeks old. Going back to work was easier than I thought it would be; I just don't have a very clean house, and I don't contribute a lot to the organization of the store quite yet. But T doesn't have to work the whole day anymore, and gets to spend more time with her family again, which makes me feel good.

Anyway, back to Liam. He still has the regular old two-year-old tantrums and outbursts (especially when Dadda thinks it's a good idea to take an over-tired toddler and swing him around in the air and scream like a banshee, thanks Dadda) but he doesn't hate going places anymore, which is a huge relief.

:: little Blue Eyes at eight weeks ::

We had a 30 month assessment recently with the Child Development Center where we focused on his speech. Michelle came over to our place and it was a nice visit and a good chance for me to think outside my little bubble about his speech and language development. She just had to ask me a bunch of questions and not torture Liam with any pressure-y tests, so it was easy. She put in a referral with someone from Speech Therapy, since she determined he's about a year behind in his expressive language. She thinks he's almost where he should be for his age for what he understands, but he doesn't speak in sentences, doesn't mimic us, doesn't use pronouns, doesn't refer to himself, etc. Michelle was so supportive, and put in the referral for speech therapy that same day, and also mailed us some activities and games to do with Liam to improve his language. She must have mailed it as soon as she got back to her office, since I got it two days after our appointment!

Still, it was a bit scary for me to realize how far behind he really is, and sad to think that it might hold him back later on if he doesn't catch up soon. I know that he understands a lot of what we say, and he can point out many things in books, and point to almost all his body parts (and also say a few: eyes, teeth, nose) but I began to second-guess myself as a parent: do I read to him enough? Do I spend enough time with him, or is he playing too much by himself or watching a movie too much in the day? Spencer and I could both read before we were in kindergarten, and I taught my brother to read when he was three, so maybe I put too much emphasis on language. But it's hard to hear my friends' children prattle on and tell stories with sentences, while my kid talks in grunts, sound effects, and the same fifty words he's been using for months now.

:: another eight-week shot - I almost caught the smile here ::

We booked another hearing test to make sure he can hear and that his tubes haven't come out yet, which was great because it was the first hearing test he has passed! In the past he has always cried and been creeped out by the testing process, and his ears were always filled with fluid. But this time his tubes were still in place and he participated in the test after a few false starts. Basically what they do is play a sound on one side of the room, and if he looks that-a-way then they light up a box with a toy in it or play a little video for 3 seconds on that side of the room. That way they can see if each ear can hear by his responses to different sound levels. The wonderful woman (whose name escapes my baby-ruined brain) who has tested his hearing several times was so impressed and happy that we finally got a good test. She didn't think it was out of the ordinary that he is about year behind in his speech - she thought that's about where he should be considering his hearing loss for the first year and a half of his life. Hearing her say that made me feel so much better, because she has actually been there and tested his hearing, and she knows her stuff and knows kids.

So we're waiting on the speech therapy (big waiting list to get in), and in the meantime we are talking in what I always thought was "baby-talk" and tried to avoid. But one of the sheets that Michelle gave us said to speak slowly and clearly, and eliminate filler words, because "baby-talk" gets the message across and focuses on the words he actually needs to learn right now.

:: since this photo was taken a few weeks ago I have slowly weaned him off the Nuk ::

A quick update on Archer too: he got his first shots at two months, and weighed 16 lbs. He cried that horrible cry when she stuck him (three needles and many many vaccines, yuck) but stopped crying as soon as it was over. I nursed him to sleep in the nursing room, and he slept all afternoon with no ill effects from the vaccine and no fever.

He is a sweet baby and a good sleeper like his brother. I hope things stay that way! He usually only wakes up once a night now to eat, and oftentimes it's when Spencer's going to work, which isn't actually night at this time of year - the sun is out and birds are chirping at five a.m.! I can definitely handle one or two wakings in the night. He doesn't usually require a diaper change in the night unless he has a big messy baby fart, which was my super-pet-peeve when he and Liam were little newborns. I don't mind night feedings at all, in fact I think they're kind of sweet. And with Archer it is nice to be able to feed him without thinking of Liam at all, because I know he's sleeping soundly in the next room, and I can just focus on Archer. But changing a diaper in the middle of the night, with only the light of my little salt lamp to see by is just so annoying! I use only the salt lamp to avoid waking baby any more than necessary, but also to avoid a super-complainer Dadda who whines if my bedside reading lamp gets turned on (yes I have two different bedside lamps). So I am glad that he wears size three diapers now, which hold a lot of pee, and doesn't poop very often in the night anymore.

He smiles at us once in awhile, and has lots of funny baby babble things to say to us. His hair is growing in quickly at the front where it fell out, so it looks like he has a little crew cut because it stands straight up - so cute! He is so strong and can stand up on his legs when we hold him under his arms (seems like a miracle after our floppy achon kid) and he already has good head control. I've put him in the Bumbo a few times but honestly I love cuddling him and wearing him in my Beco, so I'm putting the Bumbo off a little longer.

I have more to write about later, including an awesome surprise visit from Nana and Papa, getting food poisoning with vomiting and diarrhea on a day where Spencer's work truck literally exploded hydraulic fluid so I was stuck at home with both boys all day while barfing, and also: getting mastitis! Yay! Don't you wish you were me? Hint: only one of these topics was any fun to experience. Haha.

:: Recipe - Cranberry-Orange Scones ::

2010-05-11T16:12:00.000-07:00

My mum made this recipe for me when when she visited in March. It is so good, I have made it at least five times since then. It is pretty healthy, and they really fill you up for awhile unlike scones made with white flour.

Ingredients:

:: 2 cups whole wheat flour

:: 3-4 tbsp sugar** (white or brown, whatevs)

:: 2 tsp baking powder

:: 1/2 tsp baking soda

:: 1/2 tsp salt

:: 3/4 cup toasted pumpkin seeds, unsalted*

:: 2/3 cup dried cranberries

:: 1 1/4 cup plain yogurt**

:: 1/2 tsp vanilla**

:: 1 tsp orange zest

:: 2 tbsp canola oil

* The original recipe called for chopped pecans. This is delicious, but pumpkin seeds are so much cheaper and also pretty tasty.

** The original recipe called for low-fat vanilla yogurt. If you have this, then use it instead, and omit the vanilla extract and sugar from the recipe.

Directions:

:: Whisk together dry ingredients in a large bowl. Add cranberries and pumpkin seeds and stir again.

:: Whisk together the yogurt, orange zest, vanilla and oil in another bowl.

:: Make a well in the center of the dry ingredients, and pour in the yogurt mixture.

:: Stir with a rubber spatula until no dry streaks remain. The batter will be very thick, and chunky from the cranberries and nuts/seeds.

:: Scrape the batter into a greased pie plate. I use cooking spray, even on my non-stick pie plate.

:: Use a serrated knife to gently score the batter into 8 sections (as cutting guidelines once it's baked).

:: Bake at 400° F for 20-25 mins until the top is very golden brown. I have to rotate mine halfway through so it gets evenly golden all the way around.

:: Let it cool a few minutes in the pan, and then turn out onto a cutting board. Cut into 8 wedges.

:: I serve mine with butter (obviously!) They keep very well for the next day in an airtight container, and my Mum says they freeze well if you wrap them in cling wrap and then in a freezer bag. I like to heat up the leftovers in the toaster oven.

You can also substitute juicy Thompson raisins for cranberries, if you want to mix things up a little!

Enjoy!

:: Juggling ::

2010-05-05T17:00:00.000-07:00

I think I have a few moments to write - let's see if it lasts! Archer is napping (no naps this morning means more than my share this afternoon, which is why I'm here at the computer) and Liam is watching a movie in the living room. There is no food to be cooked (right now) and the laundry can wait to be folded and the floor can be vacuumed tomorrow.

:: the Big Kahuna at three weeks old, photo by Crystal Clear ::

Well, Archer just turned seven weeks old yesterday. I go in next week for my last midwife appointment, which I am very sad about. I will have to make a point of dropping in on their open mornings to say hi and visit. The Birth Tides space is just so wonderful and welcoming. I remember being so happy to get to go there regularly when I was pregnant with Archer! It has a relaxed and calming vibe, and I think also because I love being pregnant, it is such a great place to be.

:: the Big Kahuna at three weeks old, photo by Crystal Clear

Archer is lying on his quilt made by my mum ::

Time is just flying by. I spend my days barely getting anything done, and finding that there is always more to do. I forgot how much laundry one does when there's a newborn living in it who spits up on everything! Vega is going through a shedding phase, so my whole house is covered in dog hair and requires frequent vacuuming. Combine that with a new baby who nurses frequently (the Tank) and a two-year-old who can't walk and has a horrible case of the whines/tantrums and you have me doing everything in little batches just so that it will eventually get finished.

:: the Big Kahuna at three weeks old, photo by Crystal Clear ::

Thankfully my body really seems to be on the mend now. I had a huge horrible tear with Archer, and the stitches (many, many stitches) took over four weeks to heal and dissolve. Most of that four weeks was spent painfully trading between standing (ouch) and sitting on the couch (more ouch). So I am very grateful to be feeling like my old self again - I can even go for walks now! I have a lot more energy, which also helps. I lost a lot of blood during Archer's birth, which ensured that I truly became anemic (I was borderline anemic just before his birth and was working on getting more iron into my body) which slows healing and leaves you with no energy. So I've continued with my iron supplements and Floradix (amazing) and also some high-iron foods and recipes in my diet and I think that has helped.

:: the Big Kahuna at three weeks old, photo by Crystal Clear ::

Liam has had a really hard time adjusting to Archer's presence and the changes that have resulted from his birth. Even his usual routine of going to work with me, and seeing Teneille and Ronan every day was disrupted. At first when Spencer was home for four weeks after the birth it helped, but he's been back to his three-days-away commute so that is difficult - he liked having Dada around. He wouldn't look at or touch Archer at first, but now he will give him a kiss sometimes when we ask, so that is an improvement. He has hit Archer in the head a few times during a temper-tantrum, but he also hasn't done that for a few weeks. Other than that he doesn't really acknowledge Archer or talk about him (not that Archer does much) but Liam's language skills have a whole post of their own coming!

Liam has definitely entered the stage of temper tantrums, and hopefully it is just a stage. Sometimes I know he is tantruming because he can't communicate what he wants to us (and two year olds have a lot of wants!) and I am fine with those tantrums - I just try to get to the bottom of what he is trying to say. And sometimes he tantrums because he is over-tired or over-hungry, which is sometimes his fault, like when he occasionally refuses to eat or (more frequently these days) refuses to nap. But sometimes I just haven't had a chance to get him a snack, or I have been trying to get things done or even just get ready to leave the house, and we've been out and about past nap-time so he has to skip it. But the tantrums I don't like are those which are simply caused by his not getting his own way. I don't like these because I don't want my kid to act like a spoiled brat, but I have to remember that he doesn't quite understand yet that he isn't always going to get his own way. So I try to be patient with him, but he does spend some of each day in tears and anger.

:: Nutella tastes so good when you scrape it off the toast ::

It is definitely a lot harder than I thought it would be to juggle two little ones. It wasn't that I thought it would be a walk in the park, but I just didn't anticipate what some of the challenges would be. I didn't realize how hard it would be to deal with the fact that I cannot give Liam what he needs 100% of the time. I'm not a "hovering" parent, mostly because Liam is usually laid-back and happy most of the time to engage in independent play. But I really wish that I could spend more of this time off from work with him reading books or playing with his toys with him. But truthfully, I spend most of my days trying to keep the house (somewhat) clean and cooking three or more meals a day for us all, as well as nursing and keeping Archer in spit-up free clothes and clean diapers. Liam spends more and more time lately playing with his cars alone or (increasingly so) watching a movie. I never wanted to be one of those parents who plug their kid in front of a tv and walk away, but now I am that parent. I beat myself up for this constantly, that I don't spend more time engaging with my child on a one-on-one level. But I honestly don't know how I would get anything done otherwise.

:: Sparrow was not feeling the Family Love ::

:: this is their gangsta-shot ::

Luckily Archer seems to be a very easy-going baby as well. I have learned that when I know he is hungry (it's easy to tell by the sounds he makes, and I usually remember when it's been awhile since he last ate) to feed him right away before he gets angry. He doesn't fuss for much more than that (hunger) and the occasional fart that causes him some grief. He was a bit gassy and tearful in his first few weeks, and I resorted to busting out the gripe water, but I've cut down on the dairy in my diet (namely cheese) and that seems to have helped. Plus, I think that sometimes babies grow out of things or just adapt. He woke every three hours to eat in the night for his first few weeks, but seems to have it down to just two feeds a night which is nice. I feed him at eleven pm when he goes to sleep for the night, and then usually once at three and once at six or seven. He will go back to sleep until 9 or 10 am which suits me fine, because that's when Liam wakes up too.

:: long-john jammies, 3-6 months size ::

I'm starting to think about going back to work in a few weeks, and while that carries some stress of its own it will also be good to have that solid schedule again. I am lucky to be self-employed and have a wonderful and understanding business partner who is in the same boat as I am (motherhood!) so I have some flexibility. I have been "testing" myself on days where I have to go out and actually do stuff, to see how long it takes me to get ready with two boys. At first I was definitely not ready, but I think the boys and I have a morning routine down where I can get myself and them ready, make and eat breakfast, feed and water and pee the pets, and even make a slow-cooker dinner (some days) before I have to be at work at 1pm.

:: sweetness ::

:: one of Nana's quilts for Liam in the background,

Archer at seven weeks ::

(Note: I wrote this last part a week later.) At Archer's baby shower on his one month birthday, we had some great gals and lots of kids over to my store to celebrate. Teneille (my business partner and bestie) and Jessica (my Mama-bestie-doula) organized a great party and we had so much fun and some new friendships were formed (I just love that). Liam stayed home with Dada, and after I fed Archer upon our arrival he snoozed for the whole party, so I passed him off and got to mingle and snack on all the amazing food! We received some really special and mind-blowing gifts, including my friend's double Chariot Cougar which she generously passed on to us, and a custom diaper bag from Santa Morgie designs. A bunch of gals pitched in to get me the bag, including some of my ladies from out-of-town who couldn't make the party. (We carry these bags in our store, and they're always available for custom designs and colours.) When you have two, you definitely need more room in some areas, and the Chariot will be great for walking to work on nice days, and next year cycling again (yahoo!) and I really need the diaper bag room too.

:: first ride in the Chariot! Liam liked it better when it was moving, Archer just falls asleep ::

:: I love the looks on their faces here, so funny ::

That's all for now, and I think my next post will be an update on Liam's development (verbal and gross motor) and also all the crazy differences between he and Archer! It is such a trip to have one baby who is an achondroplastic kid and another who is on the giant side of size. (Archer was 10lbs 3.4 oz at birth, and now 15 lbs at 8 weeks old. Aye-yay-yay!)

:: The Tank or, as Jess likes to call him: Pork Chop at six weeks ::

:: after-bath cutie at seven weeks old ::

:: Archer's Birth Story ::

2010-04-09T18:48:00.000-07:00

* read the original version of this story on my blog *
Archer

:: of Scottish/English origin

:: a shortened version of Archibald, which is composed of the Germanic elements ECRAN, meaning “genuine” and BALD, meaning “bold” or “brave”.

:: also “bowman” from the Latin word ARCARIUS

:: hasn't been a popular name since the 1880's

Britton

:: of Old English origin, and its meaning is "from Britain"

:: Britton is an uncommon first name for men but a very common last name for both men and women (#1183 out of 88799). (1990 U.S. Census)

:: Britton is my mother's maiden name, and Williams is Spencer's mother's maiden name

* Warning/Disclaimer: This is a very graphic birth story. It's also pretty emotional and really long. Archer's birth story is just as crazy as his brother's, but in a very different way. Don't read this story if you are squeamish or don't want to know personal details about me. I didn't leave much out! Also, if you're interested in reading my friend and birth doula Jessica's version of Archer's birth, you can read it here on her blog, which is great and updated all the time. *

The day I started true labour was a Wednesday, and Wednesday the 10^th of March seemed like a fine day to be born. It had never occured to me that my baby's birthday would be on the 11^th – it seemed like such an un-famous number to me. I had been secretly hoping all along that this baby would be born on or very close to Spencer's birthday on March 1^st, as I was born on my Mum's birthday (July 13^th) and it's a really special thing to share.

I will write more about the few days before Archer's birth later on, but for now I'll say that I'd had the standard overdue non-stress-test and ultrasound on Tuesday the 9^th, and one of our midwives called on Wednesday to let me know the results. I already knew that the non-stress-test had gone well, because there was a chatty and friendly nurse on duty and she told me that the baby was “perfect”. Sadie called me with the ultrasound results, which revealed that the baby's amniotic fluid was a bit low. This was an issue because I'd had the same tests with Liam when he was overdue, and he had a 0/8 which no one at the hospital had seen. His low amniotic fluid was one of the main reasons that he was taken by c-section (he had aboslutely none left at all).

This baby was doing a lot better, but the low amniotic fluid rang some alarm bells for Sadie. We had previously thought that one OB was on-call for the end of the week at the hospital, but further information proved that he was in fact not on-call. Instead there was a female OB, and she lost a baby a few years ago due to a uterine rupture in a VBAC mum, and almost lost the mum as well. So this OB who was on-call for when I would most likely give birth would have to be consulted because of the low amniotic fluid, and Sadie was worried that she'd want me booked for a c-section by Friday if I hadn't gone into labour before that. She has a reputation for veering toward sections for VBAC mums if things look sketchy.

So the pressure was on for me to get labour going. VBACS are not candidates for artificially-induced labour with pitocin or prostaglandins, due to the increased risk of uterine rupture. So far we had tried everything. And yeah, I mean everything. I had even been pumping with my hand pump because prolonged nipple stimulation causes oxytocin release, which is one of things which starts uterine contractions. I had gone for long walks, mopped the floors, and generally not sat around on my ass at all for the last few weeks, hoping to get things going. I didn't want to take castor oil straight-up because I had taken it with Liam and it gave me nasty diarrhea but no labour. At my last midwife appointment she had informed me that I was about 3cm dilated, so as a last-ditch effort before being ordered into a c-section, she said we could also see if the OB would be okay with me having my membranes ruptured at the hospital.

:: three days old ::

The anticipation in these last few days was unbelievable. Spencer was also working in town here every day, so it was just me and Liam, and me hoping and envisioning labour at every spare moment. I was dreading a c-section so much, as it was an experience I never want to re-live. Having doctors root around your insides and take your baby from you, rather than actively giving birth, is unpleasant and unnatural, in my opinion. I also did not want to have the separation from baby afterward (at least an hour) and then have to come off an epidural in bed with a catheter and leg-inflators. Liam had to live in an oxygen-filled isolet for the first few days of his life due to wet lungs from being born via c-section, and I wanted to avoid that as well.

I was starting to feel like my body was a dud; two pregnancies but no natural labour! None of the women in my family had ever had this problem: they tended to get the whole thing over with quickly and efficiently, with neat little six or seven pound healthy babies. I was reading Ina May Gaskin's Spiritual Midwifery and Guide to Childbirth again, and began repeating something she wrote, as a mantra in my head: “My body is not a lemon, my body is not a lemon.”

There were times when I was discouraged and tired of all the anticipation, and thought that a scheduled c-section would just be easier. But I know that natural labour and birth is healthier for baby, with typically an easier recovery for mum, and selfishly I wanted the experience for myself. I moved to Vancouver at nineteen to apply to UBC's Midwifery Program, and later I completed birth doula and other related courses at Douglas College. I had attended hospital births as a doula and attended my first home birth in 2009. Even though life isn't often fair, I felt like I deserved to give birth naturally and wanted it with all my heart. I also wanted a normal birth experience for Spencer, as Liam's birth was so medically managed and he hated the whole thing. After my phone conversation with Sadie, I felt like the medical establishment was trying to get me down and that a c-section was literally looming over my head. But the midwives and I had one last trick up our sleeves, which I had known about for awhile and was nervous about, but I was sure that I would do it if things didn't get moving.

I'm talking about a Special Cocktail here, and in the weeks leading up to Archer's birth I met three women who had taken it. Two of them had successful labour and birth within hours of drinking it (one woman had her baby 31 minutes later!), and one woman took it several times with no effect, and eventually had her membranes ruptured at home and had a home birth. The cocktail is nasty, horrible stuff, and it does contain castor oil, but together with the other ingredients supposedly doesn't induce horrible diarrhea like when you take it on its own. I had all the indredients assembled at home, and after my telephone conversation with Sadie on Wednesday we decided that I should down it and hopefully labour would start that day.

I mixed it up at 10 am, and called my girlfriend and birth-partner friend to talk to while I drank it. It was a large amount of liquid to drink, with fruit juice and almond butter to bind with the castor oil, but the overpowering scent of oil of verbena gave it a strange lemony odour like lemon Life-Savers. The instructions said to drink it over half an hour, which I did, chugging bits at a time. It was horrible, but not as horrible as a castor-oil screwdriver, which I had taken to try and go into labour with Liam.

I had woken up that morning with mild crampy contractions, which continued as I puttered around the house after drinking the cocktail. I had put off taking the cocktail until Wednesday because I didn't really believe it would work unless my body was ready to go into labour already. But the clock was ticking until the OB's office received the results from my ultrasound, so it was time, and I did feel ready.

:: one week old ::

Spencer got home from work just before three, and Liam skipped his afternoon nap. I drank the cocktail again, because the instructions said it could be taken again in five hours if nothing happened. I drank it in the bathroom because I thought I might vomit. It was truly horrible to drink the second time. The oiliness of the drink seemed worse the second time around, and the smell of the verbena sickened me. I struggled to get it down because my contractions were still just mild and not regular at all, just as they had been all day. I didn't vomit, but I did chuck the last mouthful down the sink – I just couldn't do it.

After that the contractions started to come regularly and much more strongly. At 3:30 pm they were noticable, and while I could talk through them I was definitely uncomfortable. I asked Spencer to start recording them at 4:00 pm, which he did by hand on paper. Later we switched to an awesome online tool called Contraction Master.

All three of us went for a walk in the miserable weather because I wanted to stimulate more contractions. I had them regularly about ever two or three minutes the whole time. It was trying to rain and it was very dark and windy out. Liam likes cold wind so he was happy.

The contractions stayed two or three minutes apart for a few hours but got a lot more powerful, and I was worried about Liam seeing me in pain because he wouldn't understand what was going on at all. I decided to call Jessica and get her to come over after she had put her girls to bed. I also called Teneille to let her know that she would probably have to take Liam for the night. They were both so excited that I was actually in labour, and I finally started to believe that it was actually happening!

Teneille came over and stayed for a bit, and Jessica arrived shortly afterward. It was getting really stormy out and it was very dark and spooky. I lit my labour candle, which was a little beeswax taper I had bought. I had told myself I would light it at home when I went into labour, and let it burn until we left for the hospital. There is a little nub left, which will go in Archer's baby keepsake kit.

Liam definitely knew that something serious was happening, and wanted to cuddle me in my lap, which was excruciating during contractions. I had told him previously that he would be going to see Tia, to go on a car ride with her and play with Ronan at their house, but when she came he really didn't want to leave me. He fought putting on his jacket and dissolved into hysterical tears, begging for Mummy and saying he didn't want to go. It was so hard; I couldn't carry him to her car but we all went out to kiss him goodbye, and he was just hysterically crying and yelling the whole time. I wanted the labour to stop so I could just cuddle my boy, I wanted it to be all over just so he could be comforted like he was used to.

After she drove away we went back into the house and I just sobbed through another few contractions, devastated that Liam was hurting so badly. Thankfully the phone rang minutes after they left, and it was Teneille was just calling to say that he had stopped crying and was totally happy as soon as the car started moving. This made me feel so much better, knowing that my boy was with the person who could have that amazing effect on him: his Tia. I didn't worry about him at all after that, and was really able to focus on what was happening with my body.

:: one week old ::

The contractions were approaching one minute long, so I called the midwife around 10 pm. She wanted us to wait to come in to the hospital until they had been one minute long for about an hour, which was a good decision. We kept in contact over the phone, and decided to go to the hospital some time before midnight. I knew that they would want to monitor the baby, and I also believe this is important for VBACs due to the slightly increased risk. We quickly cleaned up a bit and grabbed my bags and our snacks. We had been snacking on fruit bites and welsh cakes,and I think I had put Practical Magic on for background noise. It was really raining out and the wind was cold. I had contractions on the whole drive to the hospital, but it doesn't take long to get there, especially when there is no traffic on a stormy night. Jessica followed us in her car.

We had trouble with the new parking meter machine (of course) so Spencer dropped me off at the door and Jess helped me into a wheelchair. The storm was really raging and Jess and Spencer got soaked in the parking lot trying to feed the parking machine. I was pre-registered for the birth, so we went straight upstairs as soon as Spencer came back after parking the van. Deborah met us upstairs, and the maternity ward seemed very quiet considering there were other births in progress. I got the one room that doesn't have an attached bathroom, but by that point I didn't care.

It's really warm on the maternity floor, so I changed into my comfy sleeveless tunic and had the joy of having blood drawn while in labour. I received a lovely bruise from having the needle in my arm during a contraction, but the nurse said it would be better than having to re-poke me. Deborah also inserted an IV catheter into my wrist in case I hemorrhaged or needed to go down for a c-section.

Deborah checked my progress and I was at 5 cm, which I was happy with. I had to wear these little circular monitors on my belly, which were held in place with thick tensor-bandage-like elastic straps. They were cordless, so I could walk around, which was great and helped me move the labour along. One monitor was for the baby's heartbeat, and the other was to measure contractions. Jess and Spencer learned that an average contraction was around 80 or 100, and the really strong ones were up to about 140 at the most. I thought I would lose my mind during the peak on those ones, but Jess breathed with me on almost all the contractions, and she'd always remind me during the peak that it would get better after. The belts were annoying when they would slip off, as Deborah needed to have me constantly monitered for paperwork reasons, so they would have to be re-adjusted.

:: one week old ::

I tried my best to change positions whenever I could, and I laboured on the bed sitting, kneeling and leaning over the back of the raised bed (brutally painful on my cervix!) squatting on a birth ball, in the shower on a vinyl seat (nice but the stupid monitors kept slipping off when the bands got wet and stretched out) and I got through a lot of them by doing this funny dance back and forth from foot to foot. Jess said I didn't really make a lot of noise, but I remember moaning through the peak of the contractions pretty frequently, sort of a sing-song moan. When they got really intense I would say a little mantra over and over: “This is for my baby, moving down for my baby,” and imagine my cervix opening up and the baby moving down.

After a few hours of working through contractions and breathing with Jessica, I was at 7 cm, so Deborah ruptured a little bag of waters that she thought may be holding back a lip of my cervix. We also tried to move the lip with Deborah pushing manually on it while I pushed during a contraction. This was my first experience with pushing, and it was hard to coordinate it with Deborah and was pretty painful, but we did this for several contractions through the night. After a few more hours I had plateaued at 9 cm, with that stubborn bit of cervix that just wouldn't stay put behind the baby's head. Time and time again Deborah would push it back past the baby's head, but then it would pop back over again. She would give me breaks in between and I had to get up and try some different positions, or walk around, or just simply sit and get through some contractions on the bed.

I had been at 9 cm for about three hours, and it was getting tough because we were all so tired. Jess and Spencer had taken turns in the big lazy-boy chair sneaking wee cat naps, and even Deborah napped on her uncomfortable little stool next to the contraction monitor machine. I kept having naps that felt like they were ten minutes long, and then I would snap awake horrified, convinced that my ten-minute-long naps were slowing the labour. Everyone in the room would tell me I had only closed my eyes for a few seconds, but it truly felt like minutes of sleep, and I had dreams too! One dream was that my friend Jamina, who is a chef, was writing a cookbook with her husband. (Which I think is a great idea, btw. Steven was doing the art/design side, and Jamina did all the recipes.)

But my labour was slowing. The contractions lessened in intensity, and they stopped coming as often. I felt like I had been in transition for hours (and I likely had been) with the shakes and other strange sensations. Combined with the sleep deprivation and exhaustion from labouring all night, the energy in the room was pretty low. Jess had faith, and wouldn't let us give up, even though I was getting discouraged that a VBAC was not going to happen. Deborah seemed discouraged too, and explained to us that since my labour was obviously slowing down, my uterus was likely tired out. She would have to call the OB soon to consult, because my labour was not progressing any longer. At this time, they hooked up the IV in my hand to a bag, which I assume had water and sugar in it to keep me hydrated, and also in case I had to go downstairs for a c-section. Jess had been giving me juice and water and later ice chips all night, but I wasn't allowed to eat after a certain point in case I had to go for a c-section, so I was shaky and weak.

:: two weeks old ::

Just before 7 am the OB finally came in to work, and she had to consult with me and the other woman across the hall who had also been labouring all night. Deb explained to her about the lip of cervix that wouldn't stay put, and about the labour slowing. They had a conversation about who needed a c-section more – me or the lady across the hall? Because there was only one OR available at the time. I was so dejected at this point, and I really believed I was going to end up in the OR again.

The doctor checked that lip of cervix, and she asked if she could try giving it a push while I had a contraction and pushed against her. I had been really nervous to meet her, but I actually really liked her, and appreciated her straight-forward manner. She gave me some good coaching while I pushed on that lip of cervix against her fingers. She told us that she thought if I could get past that lip that I could push the baby the rest of the way out, so the other woman ended up in the OR with a c-section.

Deborah tried again with the cervix lip, and by that point my contractions seemed to have picked up again! I think it was because I was hooked up to an IV, and because the doctor had actually given us some hope. I remember thinking that there seemed to be a glimmer of a chance that it could really happen – I could actually give birth normally! The baby was doing fine the whole time, and didn't seem bothered by the labour at all. We all had a sense of renewed energy, and during one of the contractions, with Deborah pushing on my cervix, I pushed with every ounce of conviction I had. And it stayed put! I was finally ready to push! The nurse in the room clucked to someone, “She's fully!”

:: two weeks old ::

However, I didn't really have an urge to push at this point, maybe because I had already been at 9 cm for so long already. They told me to go ahead and push with the contractions anyway, and that it would take a few contractions for me to find my rhythm and learn how to push effectively. I pushed in two positions mainly – squatting with the squatting bar attached to the bed, and leaning back on the raised part of the bed with my feet waaaay up in the air on the bar. Spencer stood on my right, and thankfully he is physically strong enough to stand for two hours supporting me with one arm whenever I was squatting. I actually used his arm to push and lean against. Jess stood on my left and held my other leg for me, and her words of encouragement helped me so much – she urged me to keep pushing, and push harder, when she knew I needed to do it for the pushing to make any progress. Spencer kept saying positive and encouraging things to me, telling me that I was strong and I could do it.

At this point they also got the room “baby-ready” which was exciting for me and helped me realize that I would meet our baby soon! They unwrapped rolling tables with all sorts of instruments on them, warmed up the baby table, and put this wacky fun-house mirror at the other side of the room for me to see my progress in, which really helped towards the end of the baby's journey. There was suddenly more people in the room, and at 8 am the nurses switched shifts. One of my favourite nurses came on, a woman named Lisa. I needed someone to guide me for the pushing, and it was great to have her in the room and even take over for Deborah when she needed to leave for a few minutes.

The contractions were fairly close together now, and I had to mentally prep myself to get up and into the pushing position when I would feel one start. I was really focused on the act of pushing, and didn't realize that the contractions were still very strong. I had to learn how to push, and Lisa and the doctor gave me some good advice, telling me to curve my body around like a C, and curl my pelvis around my baby. I could get four or maybe five good pushes out of each contraction, holding my breath while pushing and taking a big breath of air in between each push. I would push as hard as I could, with my eyes squeezed shut and Jessica's voice in my ear, and at the end of each push I would have to go further and push even harder than I had been already. And when I would push that extra bit harder is when everyone would say, “That's it, you're doing it, we can see your progress!”

There was one contraction that I wasn't ready for, which came almost back-to-back with the previous one. I wasn't prepared, and it got the better of me. I couldn't work with it, and the pain and strength of it overtook me and I literally lost my shit, and stood up on the bed and yelled, because I couldn't decide what position I wanted to be in. I finally got it together and quickly squatted down and got a couple pushes in. The only other time I lost it was one time I was taking my leg off the bar and I accidentally kicked Deborah in the face and knocked her glasses askew! I apologized profusely and was pretty embarrassed, which doesn't happen to me often.

:: three weeks old ::

Close to 9 am everyone started saying they could see the baby's head, and I could finally see it myself in the mirror! I reached down and touched its hair, and this got me so excited to finally meet this baby! Sadie also came in at this time, and she is such an awesome coach and cheerleader combined – I remembered her coming in the room at about the same time during Teneille's labour with Ronan. Except this time Sadie was fresh and ready to go, and not exhausted from all-night labouring. Poor Deborah was flagging, but she stuck in there like a trooper right until the very end. I remember feeling like I had been pushing forever, and like it would never end. I had no idea what time it was, but I had been pushing for two hours. I was very uncomfortable in between contractions, with the baby being in limbo, so to speak, which created intense and painful pressure. I couldn't squat anymore because my legs would start to give out, but sitting down on the bed intensified the pressure between contractions.

I have always been nervous about “the Ring of Fire” that women talk about in reference to the baby crowning, but by the time I got there, I was so tired and uncomfortable that I actually didn't care. It took a few contractions to get the head out, and I only opened my eyes to look in the mirror and and see my baby. As soon as the top of the head came out, the room was silent for a moment. I looked in the mirror, and realized that the baby's head was huge. It didn't even look real. I pushed again, not even waiting for contractions, and felt the baby's face slide out, a very strange sensation.

Deborah was focused on the baby now, and told me I had to get it out right away, and with a few pushes the rest of it came out. She lifted the baby onto my belly, and she later told me that she was so tired, and the baby was so heavy, that she barely managed to accomplish this! I couldn't believe how big the baby was, and first thing I did was check to see if it was a boy or a girl, and I turned to Spencer and yelled: “BOY! Spencer it's a boy, another boy!” We couldn't believe it – we had thought this baby was a girl right from the get-go. Someone opened the curtains, and it was a beautiful sun-shining day outside, a beauty after the storm.

I didn't realize at the time, but apparently there was a lot of blood when the baby came out, so the midwives thought I was hemorrhaging and ordered oxytocin for my IV bag right away. Sadie took over while I had one last push and got the placenta out, and Deborah took our big boy over to the baby table for suction and some resuscitation – he was a slow-starter. I was so happy that we finally had our baby, and that I didn't have to push or have contractions anymore! I didn't even care that I might be hemorrhaging, but then Deborah and a nurse checked my uterus and said that it was already contracting and getting nice and small, so I was okay.

Sadie pulled up the stirrups and took the end of the bed off so she could have a good look at my damage and stitch me up. All the blood was actually from a tear and not my uterus. When they pulled the end of the bed off, all the blood that had pooled on the mats spilled onto the floor, creating a horrific puddle which Spencer described as “a horror film” and Jess separately described as “just like in the Shining when all that blood pours down the walls”. I find this hilarious both because I am morbid in humour, and also because I didn't notice in the least at the time. I also had a haematoma as a result from Archer plowing his way into the world, which ended up being the least of my concerns.

Deborah took Archer to the scale and we guessed how much he would weigh. I guessed at over ten pounds, because I had already held him once and Deborah had said, while looking him over, that she was sure he was more than ten pounds. He weighed in at 10 lbs, 3.4 oz, and his torso looked like a little tank, hence his sometimes nickname from me – Tankie. His head had a circumference of 39 cm, which was the biggest the midwives thought they had ever seen. Liam's head was considered quite large, but normal for his dwarfism, at 37 cm. Archer was 59 cm long, which explains the crazy dancing he would do in my belly with his feet when I was pregnant! At my one week post-natal appointment Deborah told me that she thought his large head (and size in general) was the reason for the length of time I spent at 9 cm dilated. She said that with a head that size I likely had to dilate to 11 cm instead of the usual 10 cm to get his head down. I also never imagined myself having to push for two hours to get a baby out, since no one in my family ever took that long, but it makes sense that it took me that long to push out a ten pounder.

Someone offered me the laughing gas while Sadie stitched me up, and I happily enjoyed it, huffing away like a junkie the whole time. Archer was totally fine and snuggled up with Spencer in the lazy-boy chair, getting sweet nothings whispered to him from his Dada. It took Sadie an hour to finish the stitching, which she apologized for but said she wanted to take her time and do it properly because it was a jagged, tricky tear. She and Deborah both said that there was absolutely no way I could have a baby Archer's size and not tear, especially with him being my first vaginal birth.

I huffed on that laughing gas so hard, which was pretty fun after ten months of pregnancy, sixteen hours of labour, two hours of pushing, and one hour of being poked with a threaded needle. The room felt like a party, and the midwives had the room pretty well cleaned up by 10 am. Deborah deservedly went home for much-needed sleep after a big hug and a kiss from me and Archer. It was so exciting to cuddle my big baby boy, and he nursed a bit after Sadie helped me with a sponge-bath. The nurses gave us lots of time to enjoy the room, and I got to have a lovely shower and then went to my ward room afterward. Spencer stayed with us for a bit, and then left to go get Liam from firefly where he was with Tia. We had already called her, and both Grandma and Nana, from the labour room to give them the news.

I spent that night in the hospital, which the midwives recommended due to the trauma to my body from the birth. I was glad to get my meals in bed! I was in the bed next to the other woman who ended up wtih a c-section, but never learned her story. Liam and Spencer came to visit me before bed-time, but he did not like being in the hospital and was very upset with me and wouldn't look at me or acknowledge me, screaming and trying to get away when I tried to touch him. He was thankfully quite happy to be with Spencer though, and they had had a great afternoon nap together and bachelor-dinner at home. I will write more on Liam's experience later – this story is about Archer.

He is so different from Liam physically, and it's been surreal for me to have a baby this big and with so much strength! One of the characteristics of kids with achondroplasia is low muscle tone, which Liam had from before birth, and still has to this day. (Although now it seems more like laziness.) Archer is big and heavy and strong, and could lift his head well right away and push with his arms and feet. Many of the newborn clothes that Liam wore for months never fit Archer at all, and he had already outgrown most newborn and 0-3 month-size clothing at three weeks old. He lost a pound by his first home visit weigh-in from the midwives at five days, and regained it back a few days later. The next week he had gained another pound, putting him at 11 lbs 3 oz. Usually babies gain ¼ to ½ a pound a week, not a pound. Sadie said he may just be at the top of his growth curve, so it will be interesting to see if he will stay big or even out at he gets older. He has lots of hair like I did as a newborn, and he looks a lot like I did, but he definitely has Spencer's eyes so far. They look pretty blue, and they have the signature Williams shape from his mum's side of the family.

Sometimes I can't believe I really did it! At times during my pregnancy and labour I was so discouraged, and thought I would end up in surgery again. Getting Archer out was definitely the hardest thing I have ever done, and right away Spencer and I decided that two is enough for us. I am starting to forget the sensations of labour, but the healing process for me has been long and I can't forget that. It's been frustrating for me to be less than 100% physically for so long. Combined with the rainy and cold weather we've been having, I'm definitely feeling confined at home and I'm very happy to have finally gotten my driver's license while I was pregnant so I can get out once in a while.

Our little boy is a welcome joy to our lives, and we are so grateful that everything worked out and his journey to be with us was a successful one. He is healthy and thriving, and I feel like things will only get better from here. Thanks for reading!

:: our first family photo with Archer at one week and Liam at two years and four months ::

Archer Britton Kennedy

March 11th, 2010 at 9:08 am

10 lbs, 3.4 oz

:: Baby! ::

2010-03-31T23:24:00.000-07:00

I have limited time lately for the internets, but I though I should post a quick note to say that we had our baby!

Archer Britton Kennedy was born on Thursday March 11th at 9:08 am. He weighed 10 lbs 3.7 oz, and has a huge 39 cm head and is 59 cm long. He's a big boy and he surprised us all! Almost everyone guessed we were having a girl and no one thought he would be so big! I started with serious contractions at around 3pm the day before, and he was a successful VBAC! Hooray!

I am working on his birth story, as well as a post about the few days leading up to his birth, which were very stressful and crazy for me.

I promise I will work on it when I get a chance! Liam definitely is NOT impressed with his little brother and I will write about all the changes he's been going through as well. My poor little Sparrow is having a rough go of it but hopefully time will heal.

More later!

:: Stream of Consciousness Update ::

2010-02-03T00:13:00.000-08:00

So, I am in the home stretch of this pregnancy. As of Saturday, two days ago, I am 36 weeks pregnant which means only four or so weeks left. If the baby comes early, I could have it in two weeks! Yeep! I am actually going for another ultrasound next Friday, when I will be one day from 38 weeks. The ob/gyn/surgeon (from my c-section with Liam) whom I had to have a consultation with suggested it, and I would actually love to see the baby and hopefully be reassured that everything is all right in there.

:: my 35-week belly ::

I had a standard overdue ultrasound with Liam the day he was born, which alerted us to the fact that he had no amniotic fluid left and he wasn't doing so well, hence the emergency c-section. (He got a 0/8 on the ultrasound, something my midwife and the surgeon both said they'd never seen.) So one more ultrasound as I go into the very last waiting days will actually give me some peace of mind if everything's okay in there. Plus, it'll be fun to see the baby, because it won't look like an alien - it looks like a person now!

I'm pretty huffy-puffy these days as the baby takes up a lot of room and my lungs are compromised. Luckily we got my little Justy insured again so I am driving to and from work. My store isn't far from home, but pushing a stroller back and forth every day was really wearing me down, and I get pretty ugly edema in my legs, ankles, and feet when I'm pregnant so it wasn't pretty after all that walking. It's also tough to do grocery shopping with only a stroller to get things home in.

:: Baby Sesame at 34 weeks. this is what it does every night! ::

I have been on top of my vitamins, so I think my iron levels are good. I also swear by Floradix now, and I am going to continue to take it after the baby is born, because I think I am naturally a low-iron person, and it makes me feel so good. I had some blood taken today to check my levels, and hopefully they will be good, because I did run out of Floradix for almost a month.

There isn't as much baby stuff for us to prepare for this time around because we saved everything from Liam. My mum is getting us a car seat, and I am on the lookout for a small dresser for the baby's clothes. Liam's dresser is the perfect size for him, so I don't want to give it up to make room for a bigger one for both kids. The new baby will share a room eventually with Liam, so its clothes will go in there because the change table is in his room. I would like to get a dresser so that I can take out all the newborn clothes from storage in Liam's closet and wash them. Then I can also pack my hospital bag. I picked up a really lovely bar of soap today to go in my labour kit.

:: okay, this is pretty old, but I just went to the hospital to pick it up the other day ::

(Speaking of soap, hopefully I will be able to use the shower at the hospital - one of the ob/gyns who may be on call when I'm in labour is apparently a stickler for v-bac mums to wear the cordless fetal monitor belt which can't go in the shower. We'll just have to see what happens when it all goes down, but my midwives are willing to monitor the baby themselves if I want to hang out in the shower.)

Other than that, there isn't much prep for baby. I got out our cute corduroy Moses basket so I can wash the covers, and my friend has lent me her baby bouncy seat. I didn't use one with Liam because we were informed it wouldn't be good for his back and neck, but I think I will need it for Number Two, especially when Liam's in the bath at night. I have also been stocking the freezer, and there is only room for one or two more recipes.

My nesting has been pretty nutty the last two weeks, and so now our fridge and other areas of the house are clean and spotless, so I forced myself into a day off today. Spencer had the day off too, (very very rare!) so we lazed around and watched movies, and cuddled with Liam on the couch. While Liam napped I drove around and did errands (something I never get to do, ever!) and listened to Loreena McKennit because the Astro Van has a tape player! It was a treat for me. I didn't even make dinner - we just had leftovers. The most strenuous thing I did today was my hair. It was pretty nice.

:: me at 35 weeks and Vega wondering what the hell I am doing ::

On to Liam. I have been trying to get an appointment with his physiotherapist and also the infant development person, but we're playing phone tag and they haven't called me back. I will have to try again tomorrow. He is getting a lot stronger with his standing, and pulling himself up to a stand on a lot more things now. But it still feels like his progress is slow as molasses though, especially compared to other ten-month-old babies who are doing the same thing but with much more noticeable changes. I know I shouldn't compare him to average-height and average-strength kids, but it's really hard to have a two-year-old who can't walk and doesn't seem motivated to get up and explore. He is happy to just army or spider-crawl around and only pulls to a stand when there's something he really wants. He is also in love with cars and trucks right now, and the best way to play with those is flat on your belly on the floor.

:: Dadda and Sparrow trying out the new baby backpack he found! ::

Even though our physiotherapist is pushy, she has really good tips and ways to gently encourage him to get to the next step in his motor skills. She can really break down the movements and show me how to help him. I have to admit it's also frustrating to be nine months pregnant with a heavy child who can't walk yet and needs to be carried all the time. So I know that some of my impatience stems from that.

I also want to see the Infant Development coordinator because we are concerned with his language as well. He has a lot of single words which he says regularly (more than 50 - I wrote them all out), but the only sentence he says is when we are leaving for work: "Go see Tia!" Tia is Teneille, my business partner, and his best Auntie (Tia is Auntie in Spanish). Other than that, he doesn't even really use any verbs or adjectives. Just "go" when he wants to leave, and "uh-oh" for an accident or when something drops. All his other words are nouns or animal sounds, and he doesn't seem to add new ones regularly.

He does know several body parts and can point them all out, and can say a few of them as well. He can also point things out in books, like when I say, "Where's Big Bird?", or "Where are the crows?" etc. He just doesn't seem to say new words very often anymore. (Although I did get him to say "Isla" tonight, which is the girl name we have picked out, in case it's a girl ;)

He talks in a lot of his own made-up sounds, and he is also at a stage where he is saying words that definitely mean something to him, but I just can't make out his pronunciation. We noticed a huge jump in his vocabulary after he had his tubes put in in August, because he actually couldn't really hear much before that, but he seems to have plateaued now. Hopefully the Infant Development coordinator has some input or can refer us to a speech therapist. I don't know if I am over-analyzing this and should just chill out - maybe he's just not chatty like me and Spencer? But if there is something we should be doing differently to encourage his language development, we will do it. We should also get his hearing checked again and see if his tubes are still in place.

We have an appointment to see Dr. Penny, who comes to Courtenay a few times a year. He is an orthopedic pediatrician, and has experience with achon kids. He keeps an eye on Liam's bones and development. We will see him next week.

:: Sparrow's first real bubble bath ::

Other than that, our Sparrow is definitely in his terrible twos, and he is a moody little Scorpio. He is sensitive, and if he's having a bad day or a bad moment and someone picks on him, he loses it. As in a major meltdown screaming and tears attack. It seems like some people have sort of a radar for this, like his Dada and his "cousin" Ronan who we see every day at work while Teneille and I overlap before she goes home. He always seems to get picked on when he is in one of these moods. Spencer will push his buttons when he can sense that Liam is grouchy, usually right before nap time or when he's hungry, and Ronan and Liam always seem to want to play with the same toys when he's in a "touchy" mood. I am torn between amusement at how serious these incidents are for him, and annoyance because I am the calming influence and always the one to deal with his toddler melt-downs.

I just read the other day that for a toddler, something small (to an adult) like having the toy they are playing with taken away, literally is the end of the world for them, and it feels the same as if we had just tragically lost a loved one. They have no perspective because they haven't really been around that long, and apparently the hormonal swings that accompany a temper-tantrum resulting from rage or hurt are really powerful and painful for a toddler. I try to keep this in mind when Liam suffers from his two-year old tantrums, because he displays all the signs of a child who is truly worked-up, and not just play-acting for attention. (Although I will admit that I sometimes chuckle at his tantrums because they can be funny to watch in their intensity. What a mean Mummy.)

He is definitely a people-person most of the time, and doesn't seem to have much interest in exploring or getting into things. He would rather sit in a high-chair and interact with adults than crawl around on the floor and get into trouble. He has never shown any interest in what's in our cupboards, and honestly we haven't child-proofed anything in our house. I keep the laundry room door closed all the time, and the only dangerous chemicals we have are in there up high (just bleach, actually), or out in the garage with all Spencer's car stuff. I clean mostly with my own homemade cleaners so we don't have to worry about that. So I am lucky in that he is laid-back that way.

He likes to hang out wherever I am in the house, so I try to fold laundry on the floor of his room with him so I'm down on his level. I plan on spending a lot of time on the floor nursing the new baby near Liam, and our couch is absolutely gigantic, and he likes crawling around on it too. So maybe there are some good points to having a lazy kid who can't walk when there is a new baby on the way!

:: I am trying to hang out on the floor with him in here as much as I can. You can just see the corner of his bed, and I was sitting in the reading chair when I took this photo. ::

He is happy to watch an old Disney video or Sesame Street clips on YouTube while I get meals ready or shower for work. And honestly I have been relying on the Tube too much these last few weeks when my crazy nesting instincts have been making me clean, clean, clean! We didn't let him watch videos until he was two, but he watches at least one every day right now. This is not my ideal activity for him, and I would like to get into a nice walking/park routine after the new baby arrives, as I will take a little time off from work and will just be doing things from home.

Sparrow is as affectionate as ever, despite his terrible twos, and is generous with kisses and head-bonks (Dada taught him about those). He knows that there is a baby in my belly, and it's his favourite pillow. When he's in a funny mood he blows raspberries on my belly and laughs hysterically. He gets excited at the midwife appointments when we hear the baby's heartbeat. Hopefully he likes the baby when it actually comes out, because he doesn't seem to have much interest in the many newborns that have been gracing my store with their presence lately and getting me so excited. Spencer and I love his sense of humour, and he is a total hambone for his favourite people, or ladies shopping in the store who he takes a shine to.

Well, that's it for my stream-of-consciousness motherhood ramble. This crazy fetus is kicking up a storm, so I'm off for a small snack before bed with about 3,000 pillows to try and get comfortable.

:: Recipe: Marinara Sauce ::

2010-01-17T00:32:00.000-08:00

I love this sauce; it has many different uses. I put it on tortellini and bake it with cheese, I use it in my lasagna, and you can also easily turn it into a Primavera sauce or a Bolognese sauce, or add some sauteed sausage to kick it up a bit.

:: tortellini baked in marinara sauce and covered with cheese ::

Here we go:

:: Marinara Sauce ::

Ingredients: (this seems like a lot but it's really not too many)

1 medium or 1/2 a large sweet onion, diced fine
1 red pepper, diced
2-3 cloves of garlic, minced fine
2 tbsp butter
2 tbsp olive oil
2 tbsp dried oregano
2 tbsp dried basil
1/4 - 1/2 cup red wine (doesn't have to be fancy)
1 14oz can whole tomatoes (no added salt if you can find them)
1 14oz can crushed tomatoes (no added salt if you can find them)
2 tbsp sugar
2 bay leaves
a few dashes Worcestershire sauce
fresh ground pepper and salt to taste

Directions:

Chop up the onion, red pepper and garlic. The finer you mince the garlic the stronger the flavour it will impart.
Melt the butter in the olive oil in a medium-sized heavy-bottomed saucepan, dutch oven, or big frying pan over medium-low heat. Don't use cast iron because tomatoes are acidic; it could cause a yucky reaction.
Make sure the pan isn't too hot, and when the butter is melted, add the onion and red pepper. Saute until the onion is almost translucent, and then add the garlic and dried herbs. You can substitute fresh basil if you like (it's actually much better if you use fresh, but it's more expensive), but if you use fresh don't add it in here. I never bother with fresh oregano; I don't grow any and the flavour of the dried stuff is great, i.m.o.
You might have to watch the heat once you add the garlic - turn it down a smidge if the garlic starts to colour. You just want all the vegetables to mellow out and soften up, not to turn brown.
If you wanted to make this sauce a primavera sauce, you could easily add some diced carrots, zuchinni, and mushrooms at this point too. Sometimes I do. Or you could add some ground beef and saute for a Bolognese sauce, or some sausage and saute for something tasty.
Once the veggies are soft, add the wine. You might have to turn the heat back up a bit, as you want the wine to bubble. Let it bubble happily away for a few minutes, scraping with your wooden spoon or silicone spatula at any bits that may have stuck to the bottom of the pan. Open both cans of tomatoes while this is happening.
When the winey veggie juice is looking a bit thicker, use a fork to lift out the whole tomatoes from the can into the saucepan with the wine and veggies. You could also dump the whole thing into a colander and just strain them, but I love the sensation of poking the squidgy tomatoes with a fork. Once they're all in there, use a potato masher to smash them up into smithereens. Do this gently so you don't end up wearing tomato juice and seeds. I've made this sauce a hundred times, and I've decided I prefer its consistency with one can of smashed whole tomatoes and one can of pre-crushed, but if you're feeling lazy then just use one can of drained diced tomatoes and one can of pre-crushed; it'll just be chunkier.
When all the whole tomatoes are squished, dump in the crushed tomatoes and give it a good stir.
Turn the heat up to medium and add the sugar, bay leaves, pepper and Worcestershire sauce. If you didn't have any red wine to add to the sauce, or don't want to, you can also add a few dashes of Balsamic vinegar at this point. Stir it up, little darling.
Let it heat through, and give it another stir, and see if it needs salt. It's actually hard to find canned tomatoes in Courtenay with no added salt, so that's why I always check at the end to see if the sauce needs any. If the canned tomatoes were the regular salted kind I don't usually add any salt. If you are using fresh chiffonade basil add it here.
Once it bubbles up, turn the heat down to the very lowest setting and let it simmer for as long as you can. The longer the better - you could even dump it into a slow-cooker. Alternatively, you could also simmer it for about half an hour or so, and then put it in the fridge for use the next day. (This is what I do when I make my lasagna, and the sauce is much better in the lasagna when it's been sitting in the fridge overnight.)
One last thing: don't forget to take the bay leaves out before you serve it!

:: ready to go in the fridge, and then the freezer ::

::lasagna ingredients on the left, with marinara in the big pot ::

:: leftover baked lasagna - yum! ::

Since I'm always fiddling with this recipe a little, next time I make it I'm going to try adding a couple of anchovies or some anchovy paste. I love Pasta alla Putanesca (a tomato/olive/caper/spicy sauce) and the base of the sauce uses anchovies for a very rich taste. I think a little anchovy flavour would be interesting in this recipe. I used to think anchovies were gross because Oscar the Grouch likes them on his pizza, but the canned kind have no bones or heads or anything, and when you saute them they disintegrate into paste, and they're quite delicious! I will post my review when I get around to actually making more!

:: Belated Christmas Post ::

2010-01-15T22:32:00.000-08:00

Christmas was awhile ago now, but I thought I'd write a bit about it so I won't forget one day how it went! We stepped out of our little boxy routine for the holidays this year, and made the trip to Vancouver. It was my first family Christmas in three years. Since we moved to the Island, things have kept us here for Christmas one way or another. But this year Spencer's work week in Vancouver fell around Christmas, and he had to work Christmas day as well. So Liam and I packed up and went back with him to Vancouver on the Wednesday before the big day.

It was hard to be outside of our regular schedule, I will admit. Spencer was actually cranky at having his van-hobo lifestyle cramped by his family in Vancouver. Usually he sleeps in a camper van that he parks in the yard at his work in Richmond (he has a space heater, don't worry). I told him that it would be fine with me if he wanted to continue to do that, because it's easy for him in the morning to just wake up, brush his teeth, and hop into his work truck which is parked mere steps from his van. (He even sleeps in most of his work clothes to save time and heat-energy.) But I think he didn't believe me when I said I didn't care where he slept, and so he stayed with us at our wonderful friends' house and then at my Uncle's place in Kits (near to my Granma's where we had Christmas festivities.) This proved to push him a bit out-of-sorts, but it was nice in a way to spend a whole week together instead of not seeing each other for half, like usual.

I tried to keep Liam's routine normal at least in the morning, which includes sitting on his potty while he eats his breakfast. Breakfast is usually a pretty quiet affair at our house, because Spencer works every day (whether in Vancouver or Courtenay) and it's just the two of us. We also did bath-time almost every night we were there, and he slept in his play-pen on a quilt from Nana and with his usual sleep-sack and blanket to keep things consistent for him. Unfortunately visiting with family and friends means lots of late nights, so he was whiny and cranky whenever he got tired.

:: "the pose" in front of GG's tree didn't work out as planned when we tried to take his nuk before bedtime ::

Christmas day was great, and we had a wonderful time visiting with almost all my family: Granma, aunts, uncles and cousins. Only my immediate family couldn't make it; work commitments kept my Mum, Dad and brother in Kelowna.

:: this photo turned out a little better, with Mummy and Dada as back-up for Sparrow ::

We had a scrumptious dinner, and I had my first brined turkey! My uncle's amazing girlfriend is a true foodie, and she did a delicious turkey with two kinds of stuffing, and we ate every last drop of the gravy. I made homemade cranberry sauce and brought bread from the bakery I worked at for five years when we lived in Vancouver. The usual trimmings accompanied the turkey, and with five people working on dinner the kitchen was a shit-storm afterward! There were three of us non-dinner-cookers to make short work of the clean-up after dinner, and we had to get back to opening gifts afterward. Three family members (including Spencer) had to work on Christmas day so some of the gift-opening didn't start until later.

Liam got some great books, and my mum also sent him some new clothes. She is really good at picking out things that look good on him, but that also fit him well. My aunt and uncle gave him some farm-themed books, and a vintage-y little people farm set. How appropriate! It's cute and nostalgic. He also got a tractor-riding farm goat.

:: this makes me feel like I went back in time ::

Spencer and I got him a little Thomas and Friends engine named Whiff (who appropriately hauls the "rubbish" train, just like Daddy - I didn't know this when I bought it, but all the Thomas trains come with a little ticket that explains who they are, and we had a laugh) and my cousin, Liam's Auntie Jillie, got him a couple of aquarium cars that attach with magnets to the engines.

:: Whiff the rubbish engine and some aquarium cars ::

My two grandmothers both contributed some money for his Christmas gift, which went toward the new foam rug in his room (which is so fun to play on) and a new bookshelf for all his books! I picked up the bookshelf as soon as we got home, and it has made a huge difference to the whole house! We no longer have to keep piles of his books everywhere (although there are still piles, trust me) because there is actually room in his room for all his books! I got the shelf at Home Hardware, and they also had these little drawers/baskets that fit perfectly into the cubbies on the bookshelf. I picked one up and it's the perfect storage solution for all his cars, trucks and trains. He has quite a collection now after his birthday and Christmas, and he is definitely his father's son when it comes to cars. ("Rooom, room!")

:: the new bookshelf with a car-cubby on the bottom, and the new foam rug ::

Oh, and Liam also got one stuffed animal: Goober Sr. He was a gift from my uncle, Liam's Great Uncle Bill, or GUB for short. We really love Goober, and he actually lives on the couch in the living room now because we all like to cuddle him.

:: Goober ::

And Gub got me a gift that I've been talking about wanting for months! A slow-cooker! I have already used it to start stocking up my freezer for Baby #2's arrival. Spencer was flabbergasted when we opened the box, because slow-cookers have been in conversation so much in our house recently. I also got the new Diana Gabaldon book, which I've finished once (a quick read to find out what happens!) and I'm reading it again so I can savour it and enjoy. I did (another) re-read of the entire series leading up to the publication of this baby, and it was (and is) a very satisfying read.

My Christmas gift was one of my wardrobe staples which works for maternity, nursing and beyond, from American Apparel: the Cotton Spandex Jersey Bandeau Dress. I already have one in aqua, and have worn it for years. It's a cute dress with different options for the bandeau/straps, it can be worn as a skirt, and I wear it cranked up under my bust and over a top when I'm preggo, with the straps tied on the side. Spencer got me another one in brown for Christmas. He also forked over the cashola for me to actually get my driver's license in December, so hooray! no more Learner's license for me (after nine years, yeesh). That was really all I wanted or needed for the holidays: the legal permission to drive!

:: my new lover in brown, and this is also my exact physique right now, haha ::

I bought him some pocket books (his favourite travel-size) and some tapes for the Astro Van from the thrift store. Hubby is a hum-bug and we don't really believe in over-the-top Christmas gifts, and so we were pretty happy and smiley with our gifts for each other this year. All my gifts for my family (ornaments and baked treats) were handmade, and everyone was really happy with their goodies.

We headed back home a day earlier than I originally wanted, but my hard-working husband had to work every day so we had to come back on Boxing Day. It actually ended up being the right thing to do, because it gave Liam and I a day to settle in before we had to go back to work on Monday. I did some running around town while Spencer was at work, and picked up the bookshelf for Liam, which was really satisfying and fun for nerdy ol' me.

Damn, this post got really long. I guess I had more to say about Christmas than I thought! Coming up for future posts I have: thoughts on how this pregnancy and my preparations for Baby #2 are coming, some things about Liam's development (physical, verbal and ~~tantrum-wise~~ emotional) and I will post a big blog with recipes from Christmas including cookies, cranberry sauce, and probably some more slow-cooker recipes.

:: Recipe - Slow Cooker Split Pea Soup and Baking Powder Biscuits ::

2010-01-09T00:54:00.000-08:00

I made a yummy and easy dinner for tonight - before I left for work! My uncle gave us a slow cooker for Christmas, and it was perfect timing because now that the holidays are over I am focusing on getting ready for baby, and an important part of that for me is stocking up my freezer.

When I was pregnant with Liam I spent the last month or so making big batches of whatever we were having for dinner and then freezing most of it. I loved opening the freezer door and seeing all the full containers stacked up in there, ready to go. (I know, I'm a nerd.) It was so awesome, in the first month or so of getting to know ourselves as a family of three, we never had to worry about what was for dinner - there was always something in the freezer. I made a lot of soups and stews and sauces, so that for supper we only had to cook rice or noodles, or serve the main course with salad and bread.

This time around I will take a bit of time off work, but Spencer won't be able to take a month off like he did when Liam was born. Breakfast and lunch are relatively easy to keep stocked-up on, and easy for Daddy to make when he's here, but dinner is a little different. I'd also like to have enough to keep me going until I can re-stock for when I have to go back to work. I'm finding it hard now at eight months pregnant to finish work at five o'clock, (maybe) go to the store, come home, and then have to cook something. I imagine it will be more difficult with a newborn, so I'd like to have a full freezer then, too.

Here's a tasty slow-cooker soup that I made today and will definitely make again. I'm including my Mum's recipe for delicious baking powder biscuits, which are excellent with all kinds of soups and stews. They are perfectly light and flaky, and eaten hot out of the oven and split in half (they always split perfectly without a knife) with melted butter is a treat.

:: Slow Cooker Split Pea Soup ::

Ingredients:

1/2 package of bacon (~8 slices) cooked until desired doneness, and crumbled (I happened to buy the 50% less salt variety, which I would recommend for this recipe)
1 onion, diced
3 or 4 stalks of celery, diced
2 cloves garlic, minced
2 1/4 cups dried split peas, sorted
2 cups Farmer's Sausage or lean ham, diced
1 red pepper or a few carrots or a combo, diced (to = 1 cup)
2 bay leaves
ground black pepper
6 cups of boiling water, or hot stock, or a combination
1 cup hot milk

This recipe is arranged in layers in the slow-cooker, without stirring. You only stir it once it's finished.

Directions:

Cook the bacon strips in a cast iron frying pan until it's as crispy as you like it for eating. I cut my strips in half so that they fit in the pan better. Remove the fat as you go, but keep it. When the bacon is done (I like mine crispy) set it aside on some paper towels to drain. When it's cool chop it up; it will be the garnish for the soup. I debated putting the bacon in the soup, but I don't like the rubbery texture of bacon when it's been cooking in soup all day. Leave a little of the fat in the pan and saute the onion, celery, and garlic on med-low heat until soft and transparent.
Cooking these vegetables first removes some of the harshness from their flavours (especially garlic and onion) and cooking them in bacon fat (as opposed to olive oil or butter) gives the soup a hearty smoky bacon-flavour without being greasy at all.
Meanwhile, sort the split peas and toss out any pesky little rocks or funny-looking peas, and put them in the bottom of your slow-cooker.
Layer the diced ham or Farmer's Sausage on top of the split peas. Don't stir! Then comes the onion mixture on top of the sausage, and then the diced carrots or red pepper (or a combo), and then the bay leaves and lots of black pepper.
Then you pour over top of everything either boiling water, or a mixture of stock and water. I used one stock cube (for 2 cups of stock) and the other 4 cups just boiling water from the kettle. The stock cube I use is a vegetarian chicken stock (I know that's an oxymoron, but it's my favourite one).
Set the dial to high, and cook for four or five hours until everything's tender and the split peas have magically turned to mush. I went to work, and when I came home the house smelled amazing! Heat up the cup of milk until it's hot, and then add it to the soup and stir it in.
I served it garnished with chevre and some of the bacon bits. Fresh chopped mint is divine on split pea soup, but I was forgetful when I went to the store yesterday. Oh well. I also tasted the soup at the end to see if it needed salt, but it definitely did not. There is salt in stock, and also in either ham or pork sausage, and the bacon and cheese on top are also very salty, so no salt for this one - it wasn't bland at all without it.

:: a close-up of the soup with the bacon and chevre garnish ::

:: Baking Powder Biscuits ::

I grew up with these as a dinner-time staple, and I still make them all the time to go with soups and stews.

Ingredients:

1 3/4 cup flour*
4 tsp baking powder
3 tbsp sugar
1/4 tsp salt
1/4 cup of butter, cold
2/3 cup milk

Directions:

Preheat the oven to 450°F. Mix the flour, baking powder, sugar and salt together with a fork. The sugar doesn't really make the biscuits sweet, but keeps them tender.
Drop the cold butter in cubes into the dry ingredients, and then blend it in with a pastry cutter until the butter chunks are the size of coarse oatmeal or split peas.
At this point, depending on what kind of dish you are serving the biscuits with, you may want to add 1/2 cup of grated cheese. Old cheddar is fine, but fresh parmesan is amazing!
Stir in the milk with a spoon until almost all the dry ingredients are incorporated.
With floured hands, mix the dough in the bowl until all the dry ingredients are incorporated and you have one big lump of dough; usually only about 10 or 15 seconds of kneading.
Turn the dough out onto a floured board, and roll flat with a floured rolling pin to about 1/2" thick.
Cut with a metal biscuit-cutter or a nicely-sized drinking glass. Place on a cookie sheet on parchment, or don't bother if you have non-stick sheets. They will be floury so won't really stick. Re-roll the dough until it's all shaped into biscuits. There's always one left at the end that won't fit into a cutter, and I call it "The Lumpy One".
Bake at 450°F for about 12 minutes.
Serve these babies piping hot. They split open easily with your bare hands. I always put a little pat of butter on the bottom half, and then replace the biscuit "lid" so the butter will melt faster before I spread it around. These are unbelievably tender and flaky. The only thing I ever add is cheese, and I don't even do that very often. They are so good on their own - why mess with a good thing?

* In the interest of better health, I have tried making these with part whole-wheat flour. I had a few goes at it with different amounts, and really you can only substitute about 1/4 cup white flour for ww flour. They lose their flakiness when you add a heavier flour, so I don't bother anymore. I think of them as a treat!

Bon Appétit!

:: January Desktop Calendar ::

2010-01-07T22:26:00.000-08:00

Before I get into a few posts about Christmas, and also some recipe posts, I thought I'd do a January desktop calendar.

The beautiful photo is courtesy of The Pioneer Woman, one of my daily reads. Her photography is inspiring, and I've tried many of her recipes as well. Plus she's weird, funny and tall - which are all things I can appreciate in a woman!

Click on the image to get the full version for your desktop.

:: the Lost Baking Post ::

2009-12-21T02:11:00.001-08:00

Ooops, I found this post that I started on Monday the 21st of December. I guess I should finish adding the photos and post it! Sorry to those who will see these photos twice - facebook and blogger.

So I finished all my holiday baking yesterday, and packaged it all into tins and boxes. I saved a little bit of each batch for us to have at home, and they're hiding in the cupboard.

:: all the cookies awaiting my assembly-line packaging system in Christmas tins ::

:: classic Sugar Cookies ::

:: Sugar Crackle Gingerbread ::

:: Cranberry-Lime Shortbread ::

:: Almond Crescents ::

:: Chocolate Lemon Icebox Cookies ::

:: Chocolate Ginger Crackle ::

:: Lemon Icebox Cookies ::

:: one of the tins assembled before the tag went in ::

I also finished all the Sparrow ornaments last night after dinner. These were super-easy, and I loved all three wing fabrics. It feels good to have a few things done ahead of time.

I still want to make some more pinecone ornaments for my family members (I already mailed one for my parents and one for my brother in Kelowna) but we'll see how many of them I can get done in the next two days. They take a bit longer than the Sparrow ornaments but they're really pretty! (Note: I did finish all of these pinecone ornaments, but didn't get any photos. I still have the materials to make one for my own tree for next year, so I will post photos of it when I finish. Might be awhile.)

I think that Liam has been working on the last of his second-year molars for the last couple of days, because we have had a few major cases of the whines around here. He has also been chewing on his hand and drooling, and sucking his thumb, which is totally new for him. I hope they just hurry up and come on through before we go to Vancouver for Christmas. (Note: I was correct regarding the molars. All four two-year molars are through the gums now, and they just have a bit more to go before they're all the way through. Poor little dude. At least it's almost over for him!)

:: Rowan's Crinkle-Owl ::

I also quickly whipped up a little Crinkle Owl for 8-month old Rowan. The back is just solid pink fabric, and I stuffed it with sheep's wool. I sewed a baby wipes package onto the inside of the back panel of the Owl to make that crinkly plastic bag sound the babies love. The legs and "wings" are also taggy for more fun. This was so easy, I will probably make more!

:: Holiday Baking, Butter Galore ::

2009-12-17T21:56:00.000-08:00

Holiday baking time has begun! In past years I haven't done much of this, because for many years I worked in bakeries. There didn't seem to be much point in making my own cookies (etc.) from scratch when I could bring home top-quality goods from work for free or at a major discount. But this year I am all about the baking, all about the butter!

Most of my cookie recipes this year are coming from Chatelaine's November issue, which has this great feature for Christmas cookies. There are over fifty recipes, but they are only based on about eight basic ones, and the extras are add-on ingredients and tweaks. All the dough in the recipes is also easily frozen, and I will be doing some of that (if I can stop baking them and eating them myself) because I'll be gifting my goods this year.

I bought myself a few new cookie cutters here and there in the last couple of months (at a dollar or so each they're a guiltless indulgence) to add to my measly and boring collection. Then I found a set of ten Christmas-themed cutters at Winners, which came in a tin. (My family has a thing for tins, I tell ya.) There is only one true dud in the tin - the little man. He has a very strange and lumpy figure, but luckily my original collection had a much cuter man.

I started off with Gingerbread Cookies, because I don't think I've ever made them myself before! I had also never piped icing onto my own cookies. That part was fun and didn't take too long. I separated the dough into four discs like the recipe instructed, but only made rolled cookies out of two of the discs. The dough was difficult to roll (although the recipe had a tip to roll the dough between two sheets of waxed paper, which helped) and it was even more difficult to lift the shapes once I had cut them. The other two discs I baked into the Sugar Crackle and Snowball Crackle variations at the bottom of the recipe. They were easy to do and very pretty in a simple way. I will make them again, but I think I'll under-bake them because I like chewy cookies. For my tin-gifting, I did one batch of regular Ginger to turn into the Crackle cookies, and another batch with cocoa in it to make the Chocolate Crackle.

:: my first attempt at piping icing onto cookies ::

The recipe didn't include instructions to make icing, so I found one that worked well in my (new, $5) piping bag. I had fun decorating them, especially the teapot (my favourite). I can't seem to find the recipe online again, but it was basically icing sugar with a little lemon juice and milk added, until I got the right consistency. It's a bit shiny when it hardens, which doesn't take too long, and it was easy to pipe.

Next up was the recipe for Lemon Icebox Cookies, which were super easy, and I love them. They are the perfect mixture of lemon tartness, butter, and vanilla sweetness. I have eaten way too many of them in the past couple of days. The dough was so quick to make and the logs were easy to shape and wrap for the refrigerator. Cutting them to go into the oven was a breeze, even with my dull-as-shit knife. I've done one batch of plain lemon for the tin-gifting more with chopped chocolate kneaded in, and the chocolate logs rolled in chopped-up almonds.

I followed the recipe exactly, except for the part that reads "1 large lemon". I didn't have one of those, only a small guy. So I zested my entire lemon, and then zested an orange, too. The lemon did yield enough juice for the drizzly-icing, which is the perfect touch for these cookies. I just drizzle the icing in a back-and-forth motion over the cookies when they're on the cooling rack (and cool). The recipe made a lot of icing, and the leftovers are in the fridge for the next batch which will be for the tins.

:: Cranberry Lime Shortbread on the left and Mum's Sugar Cookie dough on the right ::

I also followed Chatelaine's recipe for Cranberry Orange Shortbread, but substituted lime zest for orange. (Thanks for the idea, Bethany!) I also pressed a cranberry into the top of each cookie. I think I over-did it with the lime zest and added too much, but the extra lime is a bit exciting. I baked these already (shortbread is better when it's aged a bit) and it's taking all my will power not to break into the tin in the cupboard and eat them. They are supposed to be for gifting!

:: close-up of the shortbread - it's hard to see the lime zest flecks but they're green ::

I also made my Granma's recipe for Almond Crescents, which are a very shortbread-like cookie, and don't have a lot of sugar in the dough because they are rolled in granulated sugar when they're still hot from the oven. These cookies are sublime with a cup of tea, and the double batch I baked on Sunday is also sitting in the cupboard in tins because they age very well.

:: this WHOLE tin is filled to the brim with Almond Crescents,
and there's another, too! ::

So my plan for Sunday (my last day off before Christmas) is to bake all the dough in my fridge and freezer. Then the cookies will be packed into the tins I bought (very cheaply - the same price as the gift boxes the store carries) in between layers of parchment. I also did a double-batch of my Mum's Sugar Cookie dough recipe, but I'll roll and bake those on Saturday so I can decorate them on Sunday with the icing I used on the Gingerbread Cookies above and this stuff.

:: close-up of Almond Crescents ::

More pictures and recipes to come!

:: Slow November ::

2009-11-29T09:30:00.000-08:00

So I think that my little Sparrow is finally back to his usual self this week, after a spell of crankiness and other side effects from vaccines and teething.

Getting vaccines this year for the seasonal flu and the H1N1 was one of the hardest decisions I've ever made. Liam and I ended up getting both, after I did plenty of research and thinking. When I couldn't find any evidence to show that either vaccine posed a bigger danger than getting the flu, I finally made my decision while thinking about having to take time off of work if either Liam or I got sick. That would mean that Teneille (and therefore her little guy) would have to pick up the slack at the shop, which wouldn't be fair. I also didn't want to have to deal with contracting the flu around baby-delivery time, and especially didn't want to think about Liam suffering from a respiratory-affecting flu.

:: this is where I often find Dexter before I go to bed - what a wiener! ::

So we went and got our shots, and aside from a very painful arm that I couldn't bear to move for more than twelve hours (which subsequently caused me a very poor night's sleep) I didn't have any other complaints. My little Sparrow however, had some weird side effects, including random vomiting around dinner time on days four and five after his vaccine (Teneille's little guy also experienced this, exactly the same). He also had a decrease in his usually voracious appetite, a regression is his gross motor skills, was pretty cranky for apparently no reason, and slept more.

After these symptoms started to go away, I also noticed that he had cut one of his two-year molars. There may be others that have come through as well, but he won't open up to show me and I don't want to get one of my fingers chomped again! I know that toddlers can sometimes have some pretty severe reactions when their two-year molars come through, as all my friends with older children have readily shared their horror stories. So I think that his weird symptoms were probably a result of the vaccines as well as those teeth.

:: and often I find him here, all throughout the day. I think he likes it because Vega can't see/bother him when he's up here ::

Like I said, Liam's crawling, spider-walking, standing and assisted-walking regressed as well, but since his birthday November has been a pretty low-key month at home. Spencer came down with the flu pretty badly just after Liam and I got our shots. He was on the last week of his vacation from his commuting-job, so it was a waste of vacation time too. I knew he must have really been feeling poorly when he called in sick for his job here in town - he hadn't called in sick to work in over eight years! I'm not sure which strain of flu he had, but he had some serious coughing, fevers, chills, the whole bit. He is still recovering his strength and gaining weight back. (And he didn't have a lot to lose to begin with!)

:: only an achon . . . ::

One of the nights when the boys were having cozy-time on the couch I decided to install some new flooring in our bathroom. It's made such an improvement! (We have a friend who laughed when he saw the box of flooring and said it's my "pregnancy job" since he helped us install the slate in our living room when I was pregnant with Liam.) Awhile ago Spencer replaced half the bathroom floor that was rotten thanks to an improperly-installed toilet (previous owners) so we've had an ugly plywood floor since then. The fake-bamboo floor I put in is only a temporary cover-up, but also water-proof, so we can hold off on replacing the entire floor until another time.

:: . . . could sit like this comfortably! ::

I will leave you with a few lines of the Sparrow's new song that he made up and sings to us randomly. Tia means Teneille, both because she's "Tee" and also his "tia" (auntie). It's definitely a happy song, sung quite fast, and when he sings/chants it I know he's back to his usual self: "Mama-dada-mama-mama-nana-dada-mama-dada-dada-TIA!"

:: hello, facebook? ::

2009-11-29T09:00:00.000-08:00

Hopefully this will show up on facebook because my blog has a feed-link to my facebook profile.

Sorry if you can't get ahold of me via facebook (my usual method of communication/messaging). I haven't been able to reliably access my profile for a whole day! I think my world is falling apart. I get this message when I try to log in:

"Account unavailable

Your account is temporarily unavailable due to site maintenance. It should be available again within a few hours. We apologise for the inconvenience."

I think it's funny that facebook spelled apologize incorrectly. I managed to sneak in a couple times yesterday, but I could only do certain things, and couldn't access some of the messages in my Inbox. My hotmail was also down for "maintenance" yesterday morning, so I really thought I was going to lose it!

So if you're reading this and desperately need to hear my personal updates, know that today I'll be beetling around town with Teneille putting up Christmas flyers for the shop (which include a 10% off coupon good 'til the big day - so keep your eyes peeled for the flyers!) with the boys in our new (to us) van. Then I'm going out for dinner with my gals, where I will get to eat my meal all at once and won't have to cut up any else's food, and then going to see ~~my boyfriend Jacob~~ New Moon in the theater!

:: how could you be on Team Edward after reading about ^THIS^? This series makes the teenager inside of me SO HAPPY ::

:: Baby Brain, Part Deux ::

2009-11-27T11:30:00.000-08:00

Speaking of Baby Brain, here is a list of stupid things I have done since about halfway through this pregnancy (when the really bad Baby Brain began to set in) :

:: Bought two liters of buttermilk instead of homogenized milk - looks like lots of oatmeal scones and pancakes for us! Apparently you can also freeze it if you're using it for cooking or baking, which I would be since I wouldn't drink it.

:: Deleted an entire blog post when I copied and cut it, but then pushed it out of the clipboard when I saw a link I wanted to . . . link . . . and I copied and pasted the domain for that before I pasted the blog post anywhere.

:: Forgot to lock the front door at work, bring in the doormat from outside, or turn the sign around to read "CLOSED" instead of "OPEN", which it then read all night and until the next morning when Teneille got to work. I did remember to set the alarm however, which someone set off when they opened the front door, likely because the sign still read "OPEN".

:: Constantly bumping into things with my legs and arms, really hard. Today I bashed my thigh against a baby gate at work, and the bruise is so big and nasty that it is actually visible through my clothing as a lump. Yuck.

So I have basically been writing everything down, because I might forget it in the next minute or become distracted and move on. This baby-brain isn't totally all-consuming (yet), just rather sporadic really.

(PS - don't google-image-search "bruise" if you are pregnant. It's not pretty.)

:: Baby Brain ::

2009-11-27T02:04:00.000-08:00

I just read a bunch of posts from one of my best mummy friend's blog, and realized that I haven't posted in way too long! Almost a month.

So much has been happening, and honestly I have been putting all my blogging energies into my other blog.

I'm six and a half months pregnant now, or twenty-six weeks. Just after Liam's second birthday was when people started to notice the pregnancy and now comment on it while I'm at work. Hooray for not looking just bloated anymore! I am really enjoying this pregnancy and also have been noticing the differences between now and my pregnancy with Liam.

This baby seems to move a lot more, and with a lot more force. When it kicks or rolls over, I can feel it with my whole body. At night when I've eaten dinner and get a chance to relax, it gets its groove on (Liam actually did the same thing) but this little monkey shakes my whole belly! You can see it under my clothes, and through my skin when I lift up my top. Last night I actually felt a foot! It was a poky, hard little foot and it was stretching out against the top of my uterus and against my skin.

I know that every pregnancy is different, but my theory is that Liam's low muscle-tone is the reason for the differences I'm experiencing now. Since he was my first baby, I had nothing to compare with, and so his movements seemed strong and normal to me. But I know now that he did have low muscle-tone, even in utero, as my 41-weeks-and-two-days-ultrasound showed with him. So far everything with this baby seems normal, and all the tests and ultrasounds have come back with good results. Hence the soccer kicks!

I had a really good chat with my mum tonight about names (among other things). Spencer and I both still really like our original girl-name for Liam. (It was Isla, and I like Wren for a middle name - doesn't Isla Wren Kennedy sound pretty? Our girl name for Liam was Isla Sparrow, but Spencer wanted Sparrow for Liam's middle name and I acquiesced - I wanted Drake. But I'm QUITE happy I gave in, because he is my little Sparrow.) So we both like Isla, and I want to just force Spencer to accept Wren as the middle name; I love it.

But for a boy, the only name we both agree on so far is Britton. Britton is my mum's maiden name, and so is also my cousin's, my Granma's, aunt's and uncle's last name. Spencer really likes Brit for short for a boy, and came up with it all on his own from hearing that Peter Gabriel song on the radio. I have a little list of boy names, but Isaac is probably my favourite so far. However, I don't like how Isaac Kennedy sounds, because of the two hard "c's" together. It bugs me. But Isaac Britton Kennedy sounds really good to my ears.

I realized while I was chatting with my mum that we could still use that name if it's a boy, and call him Brit for short! Spencer is really Spencer's middle name (only bankers and insurance people call him by his first name) so it wouldn't be weird if we had a boy who went by his middle name. We call Liam "Sparrow" most of the time as well, anyway. (Thankfully no one calls me by my middle name.) So I'm going to pass Isaac Britton by him. (Haha, funny that I discussed it with myself on my blog first.) I know he's not crazy about Isaac like I am, but MacIsaac was my great-grandmother's maiden name.

I like names with options - Liam can be Liam, or William, or Will, or Billy, or Bill (or Mac or Buddy, haha) and Spencer and I call him Sparrow. There aren't really any options for shortening Isla, but I love it enough that I don't care! I thought I made it up when I was pregnant with Liam, but I looked it up and it's a real name; Scottish in origin I believe.

That's it for my baby-brain blog! But there will probably be more in the future. ;)

:: November 2009 Desktop Calendar ::

2009-11-03T00:12:00.000-08:00

Okay, this desktop calendar is totally cheating because I basically reused October's and just changed some details in the colour and the photo, etc. But I love this photo that Crystal took of Liam to celebrate his second year, and had to use it.

To get it for yourself, just click on it to enlarge it (it will open in a new frame or tab) and then right-click it and select "Set As Desktop Background". If you use a Mac you're on your own - I have no idea how to make it your desktop background, sorry.

:: this gorgeous photo of Liam is by Crystal of Crystal Clear Photography ::

Happy November!

:: Happy Second Birthday, William Sparrow ::

2009-11-02T00:04:00.000-08:00

(to view my original post, click HERE)

It's officially Sparrow's Golden Birthday as I type this. We had a great Hallowe'en and dressed in costume almost all day. Spencer and I are big on costumes and we both love any excuse to dress up, especially Hallowe'en, which is my favourite day of the year. I made a little stuffed turtle shell for Liam and sewed it onto his vest, and he wore all green clothes and a green hat. I went as Frida Kahlo:

:: Viva la vida! ::

In Courtenay they have a tradition for trick-or-treating where parents and kids come downtown and go from store to store. It's an organized event so it starts at a specific time. I really like it because it's such a great opportunity to see so many people in costume, and also because the young kids don't have to be out after dark. T went as Smurfette and took her little guy (an elephant) out and Spencer came down in his race-car fire-suit and helmet to take the Sparrow. (Spencer's party costume for later was Buffalo Bill, which was not appropriate to wear to a kids' parade.) I stayed at the store to hand out candy. There were at least 1000 kids, I would say. It was busier than last year, and last year there were 800-900 kids.

:: my little turtle - almost two! ::

We went to a fun party after dinner where there were many amazing costumes, including Fred and Wilma Flintstone, a geisha, the Pope, lots of dead people, the Mad Hatter, Batman, Data, the Tooth Fairy Gone Wrong, Death, a Hasmat suit guy, a wilderness warrior couple, Leeloo, Flying Swine Flu, and many more. The decorations were also out of this world, and there was a cheese board that was about four feet by three feet in size, plus chili and other food and treats.

:: Dadda and Sparrow getting revved up to beg for candy (note the steering wheel).
Spencer and I have been eating almost all of said candy. ::

Today my mum came over from Kelowna and brought my Granma from Vancouver, and my cousin drove them over and surprised us! My aunt and uncle also drove up from Qualicum too. We had a family dinner, which is the perfect birthday for a two-year-old I think. He reveled in all the attention from the grown-ups and had a really good time. It's his last birthday when he will be an only child and get to hog all the attention (only two!) and I'm so glad he had a good day.

:: my pumpkins all a-glow ::

For dinner I made Pasta alla Putanesca, sundried tomato pesto marinated chicken breasts, a baby romaine salad with chevre, roasted pumpkin seeds, cranberries and pears with a maple-balsamic dressing, and rosemary olive oil rolls. For dessert we had vanilla ice cream with butterscotch sauce and homemade yellow cupcakes with either cream cheese icing or chocolate ganache. Tea and coffee accompanied dessert, of course; in my family no dinner would be complete without tea or coffee at the end.

:: photo of our bunting flag by Ella from littleredcaboose ::

:: photo of Sparrow`s birthday crown by Ella of littleredcaboose ::

I ordered a gorgeous birthday bunting flag banner from littleredcaboose, and she express-shipped it and it got here on Friday, which was great because we switched the family dinner from Monday to Sunday at the last minute because Spencer is working a long day on Monday. We'll put it up for all the birthdays, and when the new baby arrives, so it's gender-neutral and made with fresh colours. I also ordered a birthday crown for Liam, and it's so cute. For the rest of us I made silly paper party hats, and I'm pleased to say that everyone wore his or her hat during dinner. I hate those disposable party hats from the dollar store with the elastic string that digs into the soft part under your chin, so the ones I made are sturdy enough to be used year after year, and they tie up either in front or in the back.

:: crappy photo of our bunting flag banner by me. ::

I totally forgot until today that this is Liam's Golden Birthday (turning two on the second of November). I don't think that golden birthdays are as exciting when you're too young to really know what a birthday is. Spencer's golden birthday was his first, but mine and my mum's were our thirteenth, and my cousins both had them on their twelfth. (We have a weird birthday-cluster habit in my family - actually in Spencer's too.) Baby number two is due pretty much on Spencer's birthday, also.

Even though I spent all day cleaning my (only slightly) messy house and baking and cooking, it was a good day because I got to spend it at home with my boy.

:: William Sparrow at two years old, smiling his perfect smile in the walnut leaves.

This gorgeous photo was taken by Crystal from Crystal Clear Photography ::

It's so hard to believe that he's two already. He has been going through so many changes lately, so that does make him seem more grown-up, but in other ways he is still a baby. People are surprised now when they ask and find out he's about two. They think he looks much younger. His crawling also makes people think he is younger, even his hilarious spider-walk, which he does all the time now.

It's so exciting watching him grow up, and seeing all the changes in him and all the things he's learning every day. His sweetness adds a light to Spencer's and my lives, and seeing Sparrow with his family and the people he loves is wonderful and uplifting. I'm so grateful that I am his mama.

:: Recipe : Oatmeal Scones ::

2009-10-23T11:58:00.000-07:00

(click HERE for the original post)

I made these for breakfast today. It's easy to prepare and mix the dry ingredients night before, and then you only have to spend five or ten minutes getting them ready in the morning. My mum used to make these on weekends for brunch or when she had friends over. I'll admit to doing the same thing; there's something wonderful about the aroma of these baking that says, "Welcome."

I eat them split open with plenty of butter, which melts instantly because they should be eaten hot from the oven. I always put out honey and jam as well. A hot cup of tea is the perfect accompaniment, and for a full meal some juice and fruit.

If you have leftovers (and if there's two or more of you, you probably won't) they can be reheated in the toaster oven and they're almost as good as fresh.

:: Oatmeal Scones ::

Ingredients:

1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 1/2 cups quick/rolled oats
1/2 cup brown sugar, lightly packed
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 cup melted butter
1/2 cup buttermilk or sour milk*

*to make sour milk, mix 1/2 tsp lemon juice (the concentrated crap is fine) into 1/2 cup milk and let it sit somewhere warm for 10 minutes, such as on top of your oven while it is pre-heating.

Directions:

Stir together all the dry ingredients. This can be done the night before and they can be covered with a tea towel until morning.
Add the soured milk or buttermilk to the melted butter and stir into the dry ingredients. If you use soured milk, then it should have warmed up a bit from sitting while it soured, and shouldn't still be icy cold from the fridge, which is good. If you're using buttermilk and your house is cold, you may want to bring it up to room temperature in a saucepan first.
Use your hands to clump the dough together on a floured board. Knead a few times to cohere the dough into a ball.
Score the ball into eight with a sharp knife, and put the ball in a pie plate. I have a nice non-stick pie plate so I don't grease it, but you may want to, depending on what type of pan you use. You could also use a cake tin. The dough doesn't have to fill the dish to the edges; it should be more of a free-form shape.
Bake at 350°F for 35-40 minutes. This is why I mix the dry ingredients the night before - 40 minutes is a long time to wait!
When they're done, they smell amazing and very toasted-oats-y, and the loaf is a deep golden brown. Get them onto a cutting board immediately and when they've rested a minute, cut along the score lines into eight wedges. Eat them hot, and enjoy.

Bon Appétit!

:: when you stir the wet into the dry it will look clumpy like this;

just use your hands to mash it all together ::

:: here the dough is scored into eight and ready to go into the hot oven ::

:: check out our skookum new convection toaster oven! it's huge.

we probably never have to use our oven again ::

:: out of the oven it's a beautiful golden brown.

slice the wedges through and you're ready to eat! ::

:: Daddy and Sparrow liked them just fine ::

:: Cruising ::

2009-10-22T17:10:00.000-07:00

(view my original post HERE)

So there have been some big developments lately for Liam in the gross motor skills department. The lovely (laid-back) lady who used to be our Physical Therapist for Liam's gross motor development retired this year, and has been replaced with a ball of fire who is all rared up to get Liam strong and walking. She is a bit pushy and overbearing, but I can deal with that. Spencer really doesn't like her manner, but so far he's only been home and not working once when she's come to visit.

:: this is a big deal! he's kneeling and stretching to get the books! ::

He taught himself to stand in the bathtub by grabbing on the edge and leaning over. It took him a bit longer, but he also taught himself to sit back down again. That's one of the things that the Physiotherapist wanted him to work on, because sitting back down again takes more muscle strength than standing up. We've been working on getting up and down at a low table in the living room as well, and using his knees instead of trying to do a pull-up (which would be futile with his low muscle tone and strength level).

She also suggested trying to get him to cruise along the low table, which we encourage by saying, "One, two; one, two;" for each step. He also does this now while waiting for the bath to fill; he does the old One, Two; One, Two on the outside of the tub and gets to throw his toys into the water while it fills.

:: he's indulging me with a forced smile for this one. the boat rocks so it's extra-tricky ::

It's so exciting for all of us to see the changes in him daily. After what seemed like a long period of slow changes in his physical skills, they are starting to snowball now. I talked about this too with the physiotherapist; she said to be prepared for faster progress now that he his stronger. In turn, more skills build even more strength. It's exciting for Liam, too, to be able to do new things, even to something simple like enjoying his new view from a standing position.

:: the foamy tiles are T's from work and were the therapist's suggestion until we can get a rug ::

A few other new things that have developed in the last few weeks (he'll be TWO in just over a week) are that he now "army crawls" with alternating arms instead of both at the same time, and he "bear-walks" once in a while on his hands and feet with his legs straight! We're getting a rug for our living room floor (thanks, Granma!) for Liam's birthday, which helps him with doing regular crawling. The rest of our house has hardwood (actually softwood) floors or vinyl in the kitchen, so it's too slippery for him to do a regular crawl most of the time.

:: October 2009 Desktop Calendar ::

2009-10-14T10:26:00.000-07:00

(click HERE to see the original blog post, and to get the desktop background.)

I know that October is almost half over, but I thought I'd post this anyway. I just love that gourdy photo! I might keep it for November and just change the calendar.

Click on the picture below to get the bigger version, and then right click on it to see "Set As Desktop Background".

Happy Autumn, and enjoy!

:: New Banner ::

2009-10-12T17:28:00.000-07:00

Okay, I know I said that picture with the pears and gourds and pumpkins was going to be a part of my next banner, but then I took that photo of Liam on the front step of my store. And it just works. I love the photo, and my boy, so much!

:: Giving Thanks ::

2009-10-10T11:33:00.000-07:00

:: part of my next banner for sure ::

It's Thanksgiving weekend here, and I'm grateful as always for all the things I think of every day and at night before I go to bed. I'm thankful for my beautiful and healthy family; my husband who works so hard to support us, who loves me and is still in love with me (ditto!), and my funny little Sparrow who melts my heart every single day. Just his eyelashes alone could do that! He is the boy of my dreams.

I'm so grateful for this healthy pregnancy and the wonderful midwives who take care of me, and to Sadie who called me yesterday to say the triple-screen results were negative so I could have a good long weekend! (Phewf, no amnio for me.)

I'm thankful that I grew up with family and that I still have them all in my life. I'm thankful for my wonderful and funny friends.

I'm thankful every day for our house, that we have somewhere warm to live in a strikingly beautiful and safe part of the world. I'm grateful that we always have enough to eat, and that we eat healthy and nutritious food. I'm thankful this year for my prenatal vitamins and liquid Floradix! They have made such a difference in my energy levels.

I'm thankful for the opportunity to be self-employed, and go to work happy and excited.

Some thanks are simple, and other thanks are like a double-edged blade, but I'm grateful anyway.

:: my funny, sweet little boy ::

I woke up today with this song in my head. It makes me miss my cousin (who is really more like my sister). It's her and her mother's birthday on Monday and Tuesday, and traditionally my whole family would get together at my Granma's house in Vancouver for a big Thanksgiving dinner plus their birthday celebration.

It's hard living here without my family. I so look forward to the few times a year with my Mum, and I don't get to Vancouver nearly as often as I would like to see them. This is funny because Spencer is in Vancouver every week for three days, working. I have to try to schedule appointments and meetings for when Spencer is home because I don't have any family in town to help me with the Sparrow, and my friends don't live close by. It's also hard to impose on people who already have kids of their own.

:: the Sparrow creeping about; I'm so thankful that he's learning to stand! more on that later ::

So one of the things I'm thankful for this year is that I will really really be getting my Driver's License before the new baby is born. I've had my Learner's for nine years. My parents refused to teach me how to drive when I was a teenager, and told me I'd have to wait until I was eighteen. I didn't pick much of a fight about it, because they'd been telling me the same thing since I was a child, and I knew there wasn't much point in arguing when they had their minds made up.

But I moved out two days after my eighteenth birthday, and didn't have anyone in my life with a car or who was willing to teach me until I met Spencer. So he taught me. He's not the greatest teacher (sorry babycat, you yell!) but he is an excellent driver; the best I've ever known. He does it for a living, driving the biggest truck you can imagine and doing crazy maneuvers all over the dirty city. So I do know how to drive, but I've been procrastinating with getting my actual license since before the Sparrow was born. I guess I'm afraid to take the test and fail, and what a waste of money.

So I'm going to renew my Learner's and finally take a couple lessons, and then take my road test in a school car which will be automatic. I am realizing more and more that I'm going to have to give in and be a driver, at least for the Winter and until the new baby can ride in the bike trailer. I also can't ride my bike all through the Winter when I'm pregnant - snow and ice and bicycle tires don't mix. It's funny that it's now that I will have to give up riding for awhile, because I've been enjoying it so much recently.

:: this is how we roll ::

September was absolutely perfect, weather-wise, for riding. The days were all sunny except for about two or three (seriously!) and it isn't really very cold yet. So far October has been great as well, but I hear there's rain in the forecast for next week. I very fortunately received a bike trailer free of charge, since Spencer works in the waste industry and someone threw it out! I am also thankful for the privilege to ride, and to expose the Sparrow about what it really means to get around, with the power of your own body. All our groceries get towed home in my trailer along with the boy.

But being a rider is something that's hard to be thankful for, honestly, since moving here. When we lived in Vancouver, I only ever had one friend who owned a car - Spencer! And most of the time we rode our bicycles wherever we needed to go, as did all of our friends. It was so empowering and fun to be going somewhere or coming home with a group of people all riding their bicycles, for free and free of exhaust and noise. Conversations while riding are really special.

But here in the Valley, everyone drives. In fact, we now only have one friend besides myself who doesn't drive and rides everywhere. It's hard to remain positive and thankful for your bicycle privileges when you live somewhere where everyone hops in their car to go any place at all, and doesn't think twice about it. A lot of the time drivers in Courtenay are unaware of cyclists, although having a huge trailer with a big orange flag does increase your visibility.

So it's with a grain of salt that I'm thankful to be able to drive (alone) sometime soon. On one hand, I hope I will be able to get to the mainland to see my family more often, at least a few times before the new baby is born and hopefully after. And I won't be able to ride with the Sparrow when rough weather hits, so I'm thankful that there's a little Subaru in our driveway waiting for me to be able to drive it!

:: okay now imagine me driving this soon - 4WD, baby ::

:: the Quickening ::

2009-09-29T01:52:00.000-07:00

We've had a good couple of days off from work here at Casa Kennedy. Yesterday I cleaned and baked. The house was already in pretty good shape so it wasn't too hard to straighten up. My Granma (Liam's GG) and my Aunt came up from Qualicum for tea. I baked cranberry-chocolate-pecan-orange-oatmeal bars, and they brought more sweets (three different kinds!), so I don't think that I'll have any trouble gaining weight like the midwife said I need to. ;) I love seeing my family with the little Sparrow, and he flirted mercilessly with them after his initial shyness wore off. I also love having a clean house! More on that in another post.

Today Spencer and I treated ourselves to new socks and underwear. I joyously went through my underwear drawer when I got home and chucked all my old thin panties and socks. It might not sound too exciting, but we've been living so bare-bones for awhile that a little extra "newness" is met with thanks. I'm wearing a pair of new woolly socks now and my feet are toasty.

:: standing in the bath is fun and good exercise for his little legs ::

I always loved the bumps and kicks Liam gave me when he was still Baby Peppercorn. I felt him move for the first time when I was sixteen weeks pregnant. I'll never forget, because I was driving, and leaving Cumberland. I felt a little fluttery wiggle, and wondered if that was my first noticeable baby movement. As he grew and kicked harder and moved more and more, I discovered that it had been a Peppercorn wiggle. With this little Sesame Seed, I felt it move at fifteen weeks, but I was just sitting at the kitchen table, nothing exciting.

:: Sparrow eats fruit leather bits in the lineup at Thrifty's ::

I'm eighteen weeks now, and I feel the little Sesame almost every evening! Once I've done all my chores and get a chance to sit down and relax the little flutters begin. I've been thinking about how the first bit of pregnancy is done in Secret; people can't tell that anything's growing in there just from looking at you. For awhile you just look bloated; too much wheat maybe. The fascinating thing is that in the beginning is when all the important developmental things are happening. Once you start to actually show, all the baby's parts are there, and it's just getting bigger and stronger.

I'm feeling good again, but just like in my first pregnancy I've been a horrible vitamin-taker. I was taking a B-supplement with Folic Acid, and Iron supplement with a Vitamin C tablet, and also a Calcium with Vitamin-D at night. As soon as I started to feel the all-day nausea I couldn't take any of them without making the nausea worse. So I didn't take anything, and when I got my first basic blood test results back my iron was a bit low, which was not surprising to me. So I bought a prenatal multi-vitamin supplement at the drugstore. I don't know why I didn't just do this when I was pregnant with Liam! It's so easy to just take one pill. So far I've remembered consistently to take it. And the iron in it doesn't make me feel sick. I'll probably have more blood work done again, and if my iron's not high enough from the multi then I'll have to take the straight Iron again. Hopefully not; I hate taking Ferrous Gluconate.

:: I made some legwarmers for Sparrow out of old pairs of socks I hadn't worn in years ::

My breastfeeding relationship with Liam came to an end recently. We had been nursing twice a day for a few months; just before nap time and just before bed. A few weeks before his twenty-second birthday he had begun to refuse milk at his nap time at work. I tried several times to offer it to him for naps, but he refused more and more often until his only nursing was before bed. Then he started refusing milk at bedtime too, and the last time he nursed was just after his twenty-second birthday. He just wanted a sip of water and to suck on his Nuk, which he also only has now at nap and bed times. I tried a few more times with him, to make sure it wasn't a breastfeeding strike. Since the quality and quantity of milk changes during pregnancy, I wondered if he wasn't used to it, but he really is done. We still have a nice cuddle before I put him to bed at night. It's a time I love; with the soft pink glow from our salt lamps, and the dark colours of our red room all around us. Sometimes I read while we snuggle, and sometimes not. I was sad that breastfeeding for Liam was over, but he did get almost two years of Mumma's milk. I wonder if he would have gone longer if I wasn't pregnant now, though.

If I have any extra pumped milk when the new baby comes I will try to see if Liam will drink it, even if it gets mixed into the homo cow's milk he now drinks. He never liked bottles and I didn't find much of a need for them, and I think with the next baby things will be similar, but I can always give the extra to Liam.

I'm not sure if it's related to his cessation of breastfeeding or not, but soon after he weaned he had his first bout of diarrhea. It was horrible for him and for me, as it's almost impossible to give naked-bum time to a kid with diarrhea. But any contact between the skin and the nasty stuff, however brief, induces a painful rash that was hard to get rid of. It lasted just over two days, and he was not his usual self at all. Luckily it occurred on my (and Sparrow's) two days off in a row.

That's all for now - it's bedtime.

listening to: Goodbye Horses by Q Lazzarus (Buffalo Bill's song)

:: Sparrow Tube ::

2009-09-09T00:31:00.000-07:00

I've already posted this on my facebook profile, but I thought I'd share it here too. Sparrow (quietly) tells me some of the animal sounds he knows, as well as some words. We're working on other family members' names. I'll have to make him a little photo book to help with that.

I hope you enjoy my little Sparrow's YouTube debut!

:: My Parrot Can Stand! ::

2009-09-02T11:28:00.000-07:00

So I have a little parrot on my hands. It seems like I can teach the Sparrow a new word almost every day! I just taught him to say "Big Boy" the other day, and the way he says it is so cute, like "Bee Boa". He also says "Baby" now, which will be important some months from now.

At work he often says "Hi!", to customers he takes a shine to, but it sounds more like "Aiee!". He's said "Buh bye" sometimes but mostly just waves.

When my Mum was visiting she taught him to say "Thank-you" which comes out "Gaaah-goo" and he says "Please" with two syllables and it sounds a bit like "Deee-aah".

Sparrow give great kisses on request, and also says "Yub Ooo!" when we tell him we love him, which is often.

Most of the time he is quite a chatterbox, and his own language has English sounds but is definitely Toddlerese. He also grunts a lot and makes that annoying "Unh unh unh," whining sound when he wants me to pick him up or look at him.

:: he still loves jumping, and taking off his shoe apparently ::

There's a growing list of body parts that he will point to and say "Right here" or "Aiee teeah". Here's his list: eyes, nose, teeth, ear, hair, head, hands, belly and feet. For hands he rotates them at the wrist.

I'm so glad that we went ahead with the surgery for Liam. At first the results weren't noticeable, and in fact some things were worse than before. But the improvements for him, for his breathing and his hearing, have been well worth it.

:: big milestone! peeking over Daddy's leg ::

For at least a week his breathing, especially at night, was actually worse than before the surgery. I think that was in part from the painkillers he was one at night (Tylenol and codeine) and also from the scabby clots where they removed his adenoids. One night after his bath he had a major freak-out from being over-tired and cried so hard that I heard him actually choke on one of the clots and probably swallow it. Sorry, that was gross.

And for about a week after surgery his right ear was very painful, but our family doctor prescribed Ciprodex for the bacterial infection that was causing the pain. It's all cleared up now and no more nasty discharge. Sorry, gross again.

:: Daddy's leg gets kisses ::

Another one of his biggest accomplishments lately has definitely been standing up! He can't pull himself up to a stand, only onto his knees, but if we help him out he can stand on his feet and hold on for a little while! This is such an amazing milestone for him, and for me and Spencer, the parents of the Permababy.

:: look at his little toes! ::

:: September Desktop Calendar ::

2009-08-31T18:26:00.000-07:00

Just a quick post for now - I've done a simple desktop calendar for September. The artwork featured is by Irina Vinnik, who (I think) is from Russia. Teneille turned me on to her awhile ago, and I just can't get enough! You can check out some of her portfolio here.

Click on the image below to see the original version in a bigger size, which can be used as a desktop background. If you're reading this on facebook, you may have to go to my actual blog to do this.

More later, with Sparrow photos, I promise!

:: Surgery ::

2009-08-22T11:21:00.000-07:00

On the tenth of August Liam had his first surgery, at 21 months of age. He had his enlarged adenoids removed, as they were obstructing his breathing, especially at night and when he had a cold, and his ears cleaned our and tubes put in his ears.

I was really anxious and worried in the weeks and days leading up to the day. I had the fear that something would go wrong, some complication, like an allergy or a reaction to the anesthetic or a mistake in the surgery. I'm sure that feeling was a result of natural mother-worry, combined with the horrible memories of our last hospital experience, Liam's birth.

Spencer and I decided to spend the night before in Duncan with friends, since the hospital we went to was more than a three hours' drive from our home. I'm really glad that we did, because we got to see our good friends, and it was relaxing and fun. Our friend Tami is a great host and her home is so warm and inviting. Plus it cut our drive in the morning down to about an hour.

this was taken during his bedtime snack. the bandage is from where he ripped his IV out.

As for the hospital experience, some parts of it were horrible and some parts were good. He did surprisingly well with no food for hours after he woke up, but we were very careful not to eat anything in front of him (we didn't actually eat much until he got out of surgery). He wasn't allowed to eat anything after midnight the night before, and not allowed to drink anything after 7 am, as our check-in time was 10 am.

We played in a little toy room full of toddler toys while we waited for the surgery, and they gave him some liquid drug that was supposed to make him sleepy. It did make him groggy, but he hated the drugged feeling and fought it really hard at the end. They also put some numbing cream on his hand (for the IV) and covered it with a little human saran wrap stuff. At first he was totally okay with the nurses touching him and coming near him, as long as we were around.

We decided that I would be the parent to take him in to the OR, so I had to change into scrubs and a stupid hat and booties. Then all of a sudden they were like, "We're ready," and Spencer handed him to me and we were walking down the hallway toward the OR. I started having harsh anxiety because Spencer didn't get to give him a kiss goodbye.

We got to this little room where you wait just before the OR, and it had dim lighting and kids books and bubbles. I asked the nurse to go get Spencer so he could give him a kiss. He liked the kids books for about five minutes, and then he couldn't handle the drugged feeling anymore and started wailing and thrashing around. Spencer ran to go get his pacifier and almost didn't make it back before they told us to come in so they could get started. He gave Liam a kiss and we walked down the hall to the OR where the surgeons and nurses and anesthesiologist were waiting.

He was totally freaking out by this time, especially when I had to sit him down on the operating table. He was mad at me and kept yelling at me and trying to rip my clothes up. The anesthesiologist decided that he wouldn't be able to find a vein in his hand while he was awake, so they had to put the gas mask on his face, which made him freak out even more. He held Liam's head to his chest and just rocked him back and forth until the gas started working and he stopped crying. A nurse and I had to hold his little arms down. Then he finally stopped crying and closed his eyes, and the anesthesiologist counted to three so we could all lay him down. I was totally crying, thinking that I had scarred my child for life. The ENT surgeon gave me a hug and said something nice, and then I had to leave and our volunteer nurse took me back to our original waiting room with Spencer.

It didn't take very long, maybe half an hour at the most, and a nurse told us that he was out of surgery and in the recovery room and they would bring him up right away. He looked so sad on the baby bed they wheeled him up on. It was sort of reclined, and he was just looking around with his huge eyes and hiccuping. We found out later that he was so pissed off when he woke up in recovery that he ripped his IV out of his little hand.

As soon as he saw me he freaked out and started yelling. He was super mad at us! Then the hospital people realized that we were actually supposed to be on the fourth floor because we were staying overnight. So we had to go up and he freaked out the whole time. They showed us our room and we had the sweet bed with a window area for my chair/cot where I sat down with him and he fell into a drugged sleep.

drugged hiccupy sleep

He slept most of the day either with me or Spencer and then woke up around three and ate a banana I had brought. He was not interested in the jello or popsicles that the nurse offered because he's never had either. He was super grouchy and agitated until he would get his meds (Tylenol and codeine combo, a nice mix) and then he'd be all sweet and druggy again.

cuddling with Daddy

He ate tons of dinner at five, and then I went and got some delicious chili from the cafeteria. Spencer left after I ate, s only on parent was allowed to spend the night, and Liam played for a bit and then slept again. He had a snack at around nine, and then I gave him a bath.

He has lots of dried blood in his ear, and some was dried in his nose, too. The ENT surgeon said that he didn't think Liam could really hear from his right ear because it was totally impacted with wax and there was a huge fluid build-up behind his ear drum. So hopefully the tubes will help with that. I think the adenoid removal was pretty standard.

I read two books while I was there. The Babysitter's Club "Stacey's Boy Crazy!" and "Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of Nimh". Luckily I brought my headlamp because in the children's ward it's lights out at about nine. The Rats book was so good. I never got to read it in school so I'm glad I did. I loved the blend of nature and science and characters in the book. My mum and I watched the movie when I was a kid, and now I want to watch it again.

kisses for Daddy

I had a crappy sleep that night, but Liam slept well. The night nurse came in every four hours to check on and medicate Liam and our roommate who had his tonsils out. The chair/bed that I slept on was slippery and not too comfortable, but not terrible. The night nurse, Carla, was younger than I am, and she was great. She really liked Liam. Our day nurse Deb, who came back at 7 am, was amazing and Liam liked her the best.

Breakfast was at seven (!) and Liam was still sleeping so I went down to the cafeteria at eight to get some chow for myself. It wasn't open yet, which is very strange, so I didn't get any food. Liam ate almost all his breakfast except his scrambled eggs (can't blame him; no cheese). He was back to his usual self so I called Spencer and he came and got us.

The drive home was horrible. The sun was beating down directly on Liam and I through the hatch and we didn't have the sun-shade with us. The air vents in Spencer's car don't blow the air into the back, and because the hatch isn't sealed on properly, whenever I got Spencer to open the window the car would fill with exhaust instead of fresh air. I sort of half-slept the whole way back in an over-heated stupor.

We had lunch when we got home and then Liam and I slept most of the afternoon, until about seven. He was back to himself, just sleepier than usual and a bit cranky and sensitive about things.

still pretty tired and groggy

I kept him on Tylenol every four hours for a few days, and at first I didn't think he needed the codeine. But on the second night home he woke up every three hours or so, screaming in pain. I think that lying down made the pain in his ear worse. The right ear, the one that was totally impacted and blocked, was quite oozy and seemed painful to him - he wouldn't let me touch it. So I picked up the prescription for codeine that they had given us and he had that at night as well as Tylenol. There were still a few rough nights but we don't have to get up early so we would just sleep in to make up for it.

For a few days once we got home, I noticed he had bad breath. It took a bit longer for Spencer to realize it too, but when he did he said, "What's up with Liam's breath smelling like cat food?" which was exactly what it did smell like. He and Dexter Cat had matching breath for a few days, maybe three or four, but I had read that online and was expecting it. The hospital staff didn't mention it as a possibility at all.

piggy became his BFF

His ear was still oozy after more than a week, and when we happened to be in Comox for my first ultrasound and a coffee (thanks again, Lauren!) we stopped in to our doctor's office to make the follow-up appointment. There was opening right then and there because someone hadn't shown up, so the doctor took a look and a swab (not a fun experience for Liam) of the then green stuff that was oozing out of his right ear. She prescribed some antibiotic drops for his ear, which seem to be helping.

So he's doing well now, sleeping through the night again and hasn't had Tylenol since about day five or six. I'm glad we had the surgery done, but it certainly was an adventure, one that I'm glad we have public health care in Canada for!

:: Summer of Love ::

2009-08-06T10:47:00.000-07:00

Image via Wikipedia

There's been too much time for living lately, and not enough time for writing. The days have been full and busy, and I've been spending any spare time I have lately sleeping, or reading for half an hour and then sleeping.

I've been expending much unseen energy these days on growing our little fetus. Sometime in March we should be expecting Baby Kennedy #2! I got to tell my Mum in person this time, which was awesome. Liam and the little one will be two years and four months apart, a Scorpio and a Pisces, exactly the same as Spencer and his older sister.

I had a more than a solid month of horrible all-day nausea, but it seems to have gone now. I just have to be careful not to smell anything gross, and not let myself get too hungry. I'm glad it's passed for the most part. I don't remember it being so all-consuming in my pregnancy with Liam. I spend my spare time sleeping because I can't nap in this pregnancy. Liam naps at work, and I can only nap when he does, so I can't nap. So I've been going to bed when he does, and reading for a bit before I fall asleep. It's the first time in a long time that I've consistently gone to bed before midnight and have been sleeping for nine or ten hours. It feels good to take care of myself.

We've had so many visitors this Summer so far, and they have really brightened up an already beautiful season.

My Mum came to stay with us for a week in July when T went to her Dad's wedding. Mum looked after Liam while I went to work for a full day. She would bring him down to the shop in time for his nap, and his schedule was kept intact. It worked perfectly!

I'll admit that I'm spoiled and it was hard to work so many full days. Normally T and I split the day in half and only do four hours each. The nausea was overwhelming at the time but I held it together and tried to snack to keep it at bay.

The visit with my Mum was amazing for all, especially Liam. He learned so much from her - I really saw him grow up a bit while she was here. I loved seeing her absolute devotion to him and all her Nana-energy being spent on only him. As a result he learned a lot during her visit. She taught him to say "thank-you" and he now whispers "ca-ca" when he finds something yucky or a hair on the floor. They had a great routine together, which every toddler thrives on. She reminded me how good and easy fresh fruit is for snacking, and we still cut up lots for myself and Liam.

My aunt and uncle and Granma (Liam's GG) came from Qualicum for a birthday dinner while my Mum stayed, and my cousin Jillian also surprised me for my birthday. My mum and I have the same birthday, and we love spending it together. It was a perfect birthday. I got to have my husband and my family with me, and knowing we have another little bird on the way made it even sweeter.

:: Beds, Babies & Parades ::

2009-07-07T10:14:00.000-07:00

A lot of time lately has been devoted to my other blog, but I have some time this morning to devote to Sparrow Tales.

Where to start? I have so much to write. First of all, Sparrow has been sleeping in his own bed since Father's Day. I am a big advocate of co-sleeping, and since most of the world co-sleeps with their babies, I have a lot of peeps to back me up there. It makes so much sense when you have a newborn who has to eat every few hours in the night.

But Sparrow hasn't been a newborn for a very long time. I could easily have eased him into his own bed when he stopped night-feeding, oh, over half a year ago. But honestly I was just lazy. The crib/bassinet thing that we have for him was being used in his room. Not appropriately; I was using it to store all his old clothes that he had outgrown.

So on Father's Day we ditched all our fun plans to go to Comox and watch kite-flying and see an artist's showing at the Filburg Gallery that I really dig, and we stayed home so I could organize Sparrow's room. It took all day, but his room is much more play-friendly now, and there's definitely room for a big boy bed (later, later).

We let him play with some "new" toys after we set up his bed with his cowboy bedding. I also found some old stuffed animals and puppets that were mine and Spencer's when I was cleaning out his room. He seemed to enjoy sitting in his bed and looking at books. And he hasn't put up a fuss since!

His bed is in our room, on my side of the bed. He still gets milk twice a day, at nap and bed times, so I nurse him in my bed until he's cozy and then he gets his pacifier. (Which also happens only at nap and bed time.) Then I just lay him down in his bed with a little stuffed animal and he usually falls asleep within a few minutes. That is my reading time, so unless I'm bagged I usually get a bit of reading in.

I am glad I waited until he was ready for his own bed. We had no crying, no fuss. But I also know that he was probably ready months ago, and I could have had more time and space in my bed with just my husband! Well, half the week anyway. It is nice not to be kicked all night long anymore.

One week after Father's Day I hosted a baby shower for my girlfriend and her gorgeous new Taurus daughter Rowan. (Such a good name for an Earth-sign baby, methinks.) I took more photos than this, but this is the only one I'll put up here, the rest can get facebook-ed. What a super-mumma, with Two Little Ladies exactly thirteen months apart.

I took about 100 photos on Canada Day of the parade so that Spencer could see them afterwards. Poor Daddy had to work. But we both got home early at the same time, and had a nice afternoon together. I'm just going to post the funny ones here.

The Sparrow rode on my back for almost half the parade, until my feet got sore. Then we had to sit down. I used to be such a good stander!

I watched the parade with Jessica and Steve and their two girls. We laughed at a lot of things, but we really laughed at the Elasmosaurus. Apparently Courtenay is famous for it's Elasmosaur, and we have a complete skeleton at the museum. For more info on what an Elasmosaurus is, click here. This costume was really funny. Here's Courtenay's Elasmosaur:

There was also a cute teenaged Tin Man. I guess the Wizard of Oz will be on stage soon at the Sid Williams Theatre here in town.

He gave the Sparrow some candy, and amazingly my little bird didn't cry! You can spot the Wicked Witch of the West in the background.

The Cowardly Lion sure looks sheepish. I like the Tin Man's poppy, a nice touch.

And here's a good pic of baby Rowan all snuggled up in Mama's sling:

That's all I've got for now! Some recipes will come soon, methinks!

* Note to blogging friends: just click on any of the photos to see the enlarged version that you can steal. But don't steal if you're not my friend! *

:: My Wordle, As of Today ::

2009-06-20T00:53:00.000-07:00

I found this awesome new thing via the Free People Clothing Blog (awesomeness) and it's called a Wordle.

(click on the picture to see a bigger version)

You give the Wordle generator a bunch of text, or a blog feed or similar url, and it takes the words (minus the common ones like "of" and "the", etc.) and puts them together in a collection. The most common words are the biggest. Apparently I say "sausage" a lot.

It's completely customizable, from the font colours to their orientation, to the font itself and even the background colours.

So go make your own and link to it in the comments. Hey, I'm a nerd, and these things are fun for me.

:: www.wordle.net ::

:: Recipe : Welsh Cakes ::

2009-06-13T19:05:00.000-07:00

Here is a delicious and nostalgic recipe for traditional Welsh cakes. This is a family recipe and a very familiar part of my childhood.

Ingredients (for ~30 Welsh cakes)

:: 3 cups all-purpose flour*
:: 1 1/2 tsp baking powder
:: 1/2 tsp baking soda
:: a pinch of salt
:: 1 tsp nutmeg
:: 3/4 cups butter, cold
:: 3/4 cups sugar
:: 1 cup raisins
:: 2 eggs
:: 6 tbsp milk

:: Pre-heat an electric frying pan to 350 degrees. That's a bit cooler than you would cook pancakes at.
:: Stir together the flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt and nutmeg in a large bowl. I like to put in a slightly more nutmeg; so does my Mum.
:: Then cut the cold butter into the flour mixture with a pastry cutter or two butter knives held in between the fingers of your fist. Keep scraping the butter off the cutting instrument, and cut the butter in until it looks like coarse crumbs. I just use regular butter, not unsalted or anything. Margarine works all right, too.
:: Stir in the sugar and the raisins. I like to use Thompson raisins in this recipe as opposed to Sultanas because they're juicer. If you can't find any juicy raisins then you can soak some crusty ones in boiling water and a bit of juice until they puff up, and then drain them and pat them dry before you use them in this recipe.
:: In a smaller bowl, beat the two eggs together well and add the milk. I'll be honest here and admit that I didn't have any milk when I made these, so I used 4 tbsp creamo and 2 tbsp milk. It worked out just fine.
:: Stir the wet mixture into the dry, finishing the mixing with your hands.
:: Divide the dough into three or four part,s depending on the working surface you have available to roll it out onto.
:: Roll one portion out onto a floured board or countertop until it's about 1/2 inch thick, or just over a centimeter.
:: Cut the dough into circles with a drinking glass or a biscuit cutter. My glass was 3 inches across, or 7 1/2 cm.
:: Transfer the cakes to the frying pan. I can fit 9 in my pan at once. You don't need to add any fat; there's plenty of butter in the cakes already so they won't stick.
:: They will puff up a bit as they cook. Keep checking underneath until they get nice and golden brown. They need to be darker than cookies to give them flavour and to make sure they're cooked all the way through at the end.
:: When one side is cooked, flip it over and cook the other. They take a few minutes per side, say 6 or 7 minutes.

You can see how the dough in the pan is puffed up a bit, and also how brown they need to be. Sorry for the yellow-y photo; I do these things late at night.

:: When the cakes are cooked place them immediately on a wire rack, and finish with the rest of the dough. There is plenty of time to cut more of the dough while some of the cakes are cooking.

Once they've cooled, store the Welsh cakes in an airtight container or cookie jar. We like to eat these for breakfast and as a snack. They're excellent with tea. But I suppose you could dress them up a bit with whipped cream or jam. I think they're best served out of wax paper in your bagged lunch.

*I did try substituting a 1/2 cup of whole wheat flour for white, but I didn't like the results. The flavour was good, but the dough was too heavy and didn't roll out as nicely. As a result, I ended up with less cakes and they're too heavy. I bought enriched flour today that is supposed to have the nutritional value of whole wheat by the addition of ground wheat germ, so I'll see how that goes on the next batch.

:: Evening Walk ::

2009-06-12T09:24:00.000-07:00

Hey - wanna go for a walk with us? Okay. We started off by going to the lower field at Lake Trail Junior, and then walked through to Puntledge Elementary. Then we took the bridge where a kid on a bike scared the shit out of me (but he was actually polite and didn't mean to frighten me) and then we admired some lovely flowers and hedges, and then we walked through Puntledge Park so Vega could see the river (and splash around in the shallow parts). Then we came back up Woods and back to Fifth St. and home.

Hmm, it seems a bit dark in this photo. It wasn't really that dark out.

See? Pleasant.

I always stop halfway down this hill and peek out from behind these trees at the field.

I made Vega sit still for three seconds so I could take a proper photo of her. All the other ones are blurry because she runs so fast. She loves this field as much as I do.

This is the path that leads to Puntledge Elementary.

My little koala clings onto me for dear life. Just jokin', he rides snug in his Beco Butterfly carrier.

Vega gets excited when she can smell and hear the river.

That's the Puntledge River behind those trees.

This was carved into the tree, way high up.

This is Indian Rock. A few times a year they open the dam and let the river really rip. Usually at this time of year it's for some kayak race. They always give plenty of notice and post big red signs all over the park letting people know that the river will X number of times faster for X period of time, and to stay away from the river. It makes sense, because it's pretty fast when they open it up. And every year there's always some dumb-ass kids who get stuck over there on Indian Rock in their bikinis and board shorts because they didn't pay attention to the signs. I was here once, reading a book, when I realized that the kids over on that rock were stuck, and Search and Rescue had to come and save them.

I love these two willows. I think they're lovers.

Oh, Sparrow took a self-portrait when we got home so he could say hi.

:: Recipe : Sausage Soup with Spinach ::

2009-06-05T01:22:00.001-07:00

I'm making Welshcakes right now, and the nostalgia is so thick in this kitchen you could cut it with a knife. Welshcakes were a staple snack item in my house growing up, and this is the first time I've made them in many years. But I'll do a separate post on them. Suffice to say that it smells awesome in here; the door is open, letting the cool and fragrant night air in to mix with the nutmeg-scented cakes frying in the pan.

This post is really about Sausage Soup! I love this recipe because it's something I can eat all year round. It's not too heavy for Summer and it's definitely filling enough for colder times as well.

Here's what you will need for the soup:

:: 1/2 an onion, chopped
:: 6 mild Italian-style turkey sausages, or the equivalent in loose sausage meat
:: 1 tbsp of butter
:: 1 tbsp of olive oil
:: 2 cloves of garlic
:: about a tablespoon of dried oregano
:: 1 bunch of carrots, scrubbed and sliced
:: 2 cups of stock, or a stock cube and 2 cups of boiling water
:: 1 cup of beer (I used pale ale, my favourite)
:: 1 14oz can of diced tomtatoes (I prefer the no salt added variety)
:: 2/3 cup of orzo (pasta)
:: 1 or 2 bay leaves
:: spinach leaves
:: salt and pepper to taste

Pretend that there is a bag of spinach leaves in this photo.

Oh wait, here's one.

Here we go. Start off by chopping your onion. Since this is a chunky soup, you don't have to chop it too finely.

First slice the onion in half from root to tip and cut off either the top end or the bottom end.

Then slice one half in long vertical slices.

Turn it 45 degrees and slice it the other way. Then dump the onion chunks into a large pot with a heavy bottom. Mine is stainless steel and I use it for everything from boiling pasta to making one-pot dishes like this.

Now take your sausages and make a slit in the casing with a paring knife. The rest of the casing will rip away like fabric. You want to get the sausage meat out, because if you leave any casings on they look grody in the soup, and who wants to get a weird mouthful of slimy sausage casing? I realize that you can buy sausage meat on its own without casing, but I really like these mild Italian turkey sausage from Thrifty's. They're delish!

Here's a gross photo of all the sausage casings after I put the meat into the pot. Aren't you glad I left that out? Yeeuch.

So here is the sausage meat, ripped into hunks, along with the chopped onion and butter and oil. Set the heat to medium or medium low and keep stirring it as it heats up. You could also add your salt and pepper now if you want. Sometimes I wait, so that I can see how much salt comes from the sausages and other salty things in the recipe.

The sausages and onions are part-way done. Something else I've learned it to pay attention to what kind of bottom your pan has when adjusting the heat of your flame or element on your stove. In this heavy-bottomed pan, if I put it on medium, the onions will just burn, so I use medium-low.

While that's cooking away, chop up a couple cloves of garlic. Separate the cloves from the head, and place one of them on its side on the cutting board.

Then put the flat side of your knife blade over the clove, and give it a good firm whack with your fist. This will loosen the skin enough so you can easily peel it before you mince the garlic clove. It should also mash up the clove enough so that you have less mincing to do.

Here is what two minced cloves of garlic look like; sorry this is such a blurry photo.

Now add the garlic to the pot with the partially-cooked sausages and onion. I added some pepper here, too.

Then add about a teaspoon of dried oregano.

Here are the carrots, all scrubbed and cleaned with a veggie brush. I like these skinny ones that come with the green tops because they have a better and sweeter flavour than the gargantuan topless kind. If you peeled these, then most of the carrot would end up in the peel pile, and besides, peeling removes nutrients from just under the skin. So I just scrub 'em under water until they're shiny and all the pesky carrot-hairs are scrubbed off.

As you can see here, I'm about to chop only four carrots. Once I threw them in the pot I realized that four was not enough and so I add the rest of the bunch too. Anyway, slice them medium-thin on an angle; it's prettier that way.

Now dump those suckers into the pot, too. The sausage chunks are just about cooked through, the onions are soft, and the garlic is not burned. Good.

Let the whole mixture cook for just a couple minutes longer, so that the carrots get coated in all the lovely flavours and are heated through. Keep stirring.

Meanwhile, get out a stock cube if you don't have stock on hand. I never have stock on hand. I use the vegetarian chicken stock. It has no animal products but the end result tastes like chicken stock. I don't know how it works, but I like it.

Rip it up into pieces with your little fingers, and put them in a glass measuring cup.

Fill the cup with 2 cups of boiling water. Let it sit for a minute while you go and stir the sausage mixture.

We're also going to add my favourite part of the recipe while that stock cube dissolves. Mmmm, pale ale.

Crack that bitch open and pour about a cup of it into the pot with the sausage mixture.

This will bubble up a bit, and you should use your wooden spoon or spatula to scrape up any stuck bits that the beer loosens from the bottom of the pot. That's called deglazing.

Here's the lovely glass of ale you get to enjoy while you're cooking.

Now come back and give that stock cube a stir until all the chunks have dissolved into the water.

Pour the stock into the soup and stir.

Add one can of no salt added diced tomatoes, juice and all.

Turn up the heat to medium, give it a stir and it looks like this. Let this heat up for a few minutes. Someone once told me to never let soup come to a rapid boil, so I keep that in mind.

Then measure about 2/3 cup of orzo pasta. Orzo it great in soups and it looks a lot like large grains of rice. But it's not rice. Don't be fooled.

When your soup looks nice and hot, go ahead and put the dried orzo in.

At this point there didn't seem to be a lot of extra liquid in the soup for the orzo to cook in. Dried pasta absorbs a lot of water when it's cooking, so to compensate and make sure I didn't end up with too-thick soup, I added another cup of water at this point.

It's bubbling gently now, so add a few bay leaves. Give it a little taste to see if it needs more seasoning. I find that the turkey sausages give it a lot of flavour.

Reduce the heat to a simmer. Cover the pot partway and let it cook for about 20 minutes to half an hour.

After about a half hour of gentle simmer rain, it will look like this and the house will smell delish.

I like to put the spinach leaves into the individual bowls. I ripped up the Sparrow's spinach for him into little pieces so he doesn't gag on it later.

I don't like the texture and colour of spinach that's been put in soup or sauce which then goes in the fridge overnight; it's not pretty. Since spinach takes barely any time at all to cook, I either put the fresh leaves into the bowls, or put the spinach into the leftover portions that I reheat. That way it's always nice and green when you eat your soup, not slimy and black.

Ladle out your hot soup right on top of the spinach leaves. Let it sit for a few moments, like the bowl on the left. Then give it a stir to see those beautiful bright green leaves, like the bowl on the right.

We ate our soup with some leftover homemade honey-oat bread.

I toasted the bread and smothered it with butter (obviously).

Sorry this one's blurry, it was starting to get dark out. Now I know why the Pioneer Woman always makes her photo recipes in the middle of the afternoon.

I don't make chunky soups very often; I prefer pureed soups most of the time. But I love the flavours in tomato soups like this, and the Italian sausages make it just a little bit spicy. If you like really spicy then you could add some hot pepper at the beginning. The orzo helps make the soup more of a meal, and the carrots add some nice colour and sweetness to the mix. If you make it, I hope you enjoy it.
Bon Appetit!

:: Milestones ::

2009-05-31T11:39:00.000-07:00

It's been awhile since I posted. I have a great recipe that I'm going to share here, and it's a little more nutritious and a bit more from-scratch than Beanie Wienie.

But I wanted to talk about my favourite thing first of all - Liam! He seems to be progressing in leaps and bounds lately.

He has a lot of words now, and most of them have to do with the people and things he loves. He says "Dada!" quite clearly now, and when Dada's not at home we have an old driver's license that he can look at and say "Dada!" all he wants.

He still says Dexter, but mostly meows at him. When we were coming back home on the ferry I bought him a little stuffed cat that looks like our Dexter, and he likes to cuddle with that.

He says Vega now too, but when he says it it sounds like "Gaga!". Oh, he also barks like a dog, and it sounds like "Buh, buh, buh," which I think is funny.

He says "Muh, muh, muh . . . " for More, and I've taught him the sign for More which he sometimes does on his own now too. He also does the signs for Water and Milk.

When he's told that something is hot, he makes this tiny wee blowing noise, with his mouth in a little O.

And he can really get around on the floor now! It seems like it took him forever to figure out how to go backward and forward, but he can do both now. He scoots around on his belly, knees, and forearms, which he uses to pull with. His shirts and knees aren't too clean lately, because the floor at home is always a mess and the floor at work only looks clean. He can go pretty fast, and I've watched him go all the way from the back to the front of the store a few times. He stops at the door and sort of inches his way toward the doormat, but he doesn't like the texture of it on his skin. I don't blame him, it's really scratchy.

He likes to open sacks of things, like my little zippered sack in my diaper bag that contains my wallet, change purse, cell phone, chap stick(s), etc. He loves to take the items out, examine them briefly, and then set them down. It's so funny and cute to watch him take them out one at a time so methodically. I can usually convince him to put them back in again, although that's not as exciting as taking them out. We play this game with toys too, like blocks and other wooden things. I just have to give him two buckets or other receptacles to take the toys from one to the other.

Another thing that's becoming more and more common is when he holds something up and looks up at me and says, "A-gAA!?" which I'm pretty sure means, "What's thAT!?" Sometimes it also means he wants me to read him the book he's holding. I love the stage when kids start wanting stories read to them! I've spent many hours as a nanny reading to other people's kids, and now I get to read to my own.

As usual Liam will still eat almost anything, and he's starting to hold his own sippy cup more. It's a hard balance for me to find out how much liquid to put into the cup. If there's not enough, it makes it hard for him to tip the cup back far enough for him to get any out because his arms are short. But if it's too full, then it's too heavy for his little low-muscle-tone-self to lift. We only have a few cups with handles, but I'm going to start using those more at meals and for water so he can practice and get stronger arms.

We've started letting him practice with his own fork or spoon now that the weather's nice and he can go shirtless. It's easier to wipe off a messy belly than to get spaghetti stains out of his clothes. He uses a combination of his hand and the utensil for now. We got a tester of a new baby spoon at work that the rep gave to me for him to learn. It's curved and has a choke-guard on it. It's also double-sided for left or right-handed kids.

That's all for now, but coming up I have a great recipe to post for a hearty but fresh-tasting soup and some photos of our evening walk with Gaga the other night. I'm also going to work on a new June desktop calendar collage.

"Eye see you . . ."

:: Back from the Sunny Okanagan ::

2009-05-21T10:25:00.001-07:00

We got back from Kelowna a few days ago, and at first our return was shocking because it was 28 degrees when we were there, and sunny and gorgeous. When we got into Vancouver and switched vehicles for the ferry ride back, it was pouring rain and about 10 degrees. Lovely. Spence and I were both dressed for summer weather, with rolled-up jeans and flip-flops. It felt like we were coming back to the Wet Coast from a tropical vacation. And Spencer looked like he had, with his Kelowna sunburn. It's been rainy and cold since we got back (as in wool socks cold) but today looks like it will stay sunny and warm(er).

I didn't get many photos, because I was having too much fun and we weren't really there for that long. Someone wanted to come home on Monday, and I wanted to come home on Tuesday. We won' talk about that. We were in K-town so Spencer and some friends could watch the Knox Mountain Hill Climb, and so I could visit my family and friend. It was so nice for Liam to see my family, and vice-versa.

Lauren and Jersey Dog in the van on the way to Kelowna.

Nick gives me a saucy look. I've always said he looks like a cross between
Mick Jagger and John Travolta. When they were younger, of course.

Flynn thought he could nap up there. Except it's like 30 degrees up there. And I was
super-stoked about all the beer-drinking. Don't worry, Spencer didn't have any.

Sparrow spent a lot of time peeking out the curtain at the scenery.

What a sneaky look!

Only an achon baby could fall asleep like this.

Kelowna has the best sunsets.

While we were there I gifted my parents and my girlfriend for birthdays and Mother's Day with some gorgeous professional shots of Liam. Check out crystalclearphotography.ca for more of Crystal's amazing work. Her boudoir shots are killer! Here's a few beauties:

I love his chubby fists.

And his smile. *sigh*

On a totally different note, I made this for dinner the other night, and it was incredible. I made it exactly as written, except I halved it. A double would have been nice because I would have frozen it, but we still had leftovers. I can't wait for those; maybe tonight for dinner. I just used store-bought dried spaghetti.

Ryan's Bolognese Sauce
Photo by the Pioneer Woman

:: Keepin' It Real ::

2009-05-13T10:30:00.001-07:00

In the words of the Pioneer Woman, these next few photos will be keepin' it real. The Sparrow and I have been sickly for the last couple of days, and when he's sick, the Snot Monster comes. Here he is in the morning, first with a grumpy morning face and then getting a bit cheerier.

I hope you enjoyed those snot crusties as much as I enjoy melting them off his face with a warm wash cloth.

And here he is wearing some snazzy spandex pants from the ladies at the Child Development Center. The crotch is sewn together to keep his flexible hips from spreading while he's learning to crawl. I don't think he really needs them, because he's been using his knees just fine lately when he's on the floor. I will try them a couple more times, though. And not just to laugh at him.

And this is a photo of some outside time on one of the few nice days we've had lately. I brought home some new chunky puzzles from work for him. Wooden toys are so satisfying. He's ignoring his toys here though, and concentrating on dumping his Cheerios* out onto the quilt.

"Mmmmm, Cheerios.*"

Cheerios* and snot. Yumma.

This our yard, full of green stuff and dog poop and Vega's toys. With some random bits of wood leaning up against the fence along with a bicycle. (?) These trees have even more blossoms on them now; I should take another photo before the rain blasts them all off.

This is where I caught Dexter sleeping the other day. What a cutie. It's surprising that he actually fell asleep out there - it was noisy that day.

So there; I'm keepin' it real. My life's messy. But often cute.

*They're not real Cheerios, they're no-name brand.

:: Past, Present, Future ::

2009-05-08T10:17:00.000-07:00

I was talking with a friend the other day, and she mentioned that her husband's brain lives in the past. He cherishes old memories. I understood what she meant, because I know him and it made sense. Then I realized that her brain lives in the future! And I said it too, just like that.

It got me to thinking that everyone's brain lives somewhere in time, and while for most people it's a bit of a mix, for others it's more one-sided.

Some people live in the past, and revel in old memories. They love nothing better than to sit around reminiscing and having a good old Glory Days time. And while I am definitely guilty of this quite often, I know that it can quickly turn into a black hole from the past, with me wondering what I could have done differently.

Still others live for the present. Nothing matters except right now, and their plans change in an instant or on a whim. These people are the most fun to have around. They always think of the best thing to do to enjoy right now. Many meditation practices teach us to keep our minds in the present, which I think can be extremely helpful for training the mind and dealing with stress on an immediate level. But in terms of one's whole life, I think it's a bit short-sighted to think about things only in the present.

Dexter lives in the present. Napping and being fed instantly
are high on his list of priorities.

Then there are those who live for the future. These folks are always on the move. They always have another project to start, and another idea to put into motion. These people are excellent motivators (especially for lazy-asses like me.) But if you live too far in the future you forget about those in the present around you, right now. And you can't learn from the past.

Now, like most people, I am a mix of all three of these things. And so is Spencer. In fact, I think we're pretty matchy in this area of life, and that's one of the reasons why we get along so well (most of the time, haha.)

I love looking at old photo albums, and reminiscing about my past. My childhood and teenage years were very important to me, and I think about them often. I had a relatively happy childhood, and an eventful and lesson-filled teenage-hood. It's so fun when I can get together with my family and old friends and watch old home movies or look at old photos together. And often my dreams are filled with scenes, people, and situations from my past. Sometimes I wake up in the morning and I don't want to let those dreams go; and my morning is a fog of trying hard to remember and keep it all.

I don't think Spencer has quite the same level of nostalgia as I do, but he's pretty close. He also loves old photos; he just doesn't have as many as I do. And his teenage years are important to him. He had a lot of fun and a lot of freedom, and also loves to reminisce about them.

And since meeting Spence, I live a lot more in the present. We can change our day's plans at a moment's notice and go oyster-hunting or looking for an oven element. We both love to sit around on Sundays and do diddly. We enjoy our time together, even if we're doing nothing.

And the Sparrow has taught me this as well; I cherish every moment of his baby-hood. He will only be a baby once, and I'm in no hurry for it to be over. I love to take time over mundane tasks with him, even changing his diaper. I like to look in his eyes and connect with him in the present. I like to feed him his meals because for the rest of his life he will feed himself. He may not be an only child forever, and I may not have as much time on my hands as I do now. And I want this time to be special for him, because it was for me and for Spencer. Right now is his past, and I want him to have fond memories with us.

The Sparrow contemplates the future in a gauzy glow, where Mummy will surely cut off his hair.

And honestly, right now I don't think about the future very much. I don't make grandiose plans. I'm just happy that I get to see my family and friends (I mean friend; who am I kidding?) on the long weekend. I think of the future in vague and fuzzy terms. I think that part of this is that I have so little free time right now. I would love to whip out the sewing machine and start some new projects, or to get out in the garden and make something beautiful. But I know I have 13,946 other things to do instead. And the other reason is that having a child who is born different from the others, and so different from my basic expectations, has taught me that you never know what the future holds.

So I'm not thinking of the future too much right now. In my life, when I have focused and become obsessed with the future, it has done me little good. And done others little good. For now I try to think of the future in a practical way. How can I plan for the future in an intelligent and helpful way?

It makes me wonder how Liam will think about all this when he's older. Will he be like Spencer and me, and have a little mix? Something tells me he probably will. Judging from his present disposition, he's not going to be a go-getter for the future. He'll most likely be content to chill with like-minded people and enjoy the present, as long as there's food. And we'll see if he likes reminiscing. Hopefully we're giving him a childhood worth remembering.

What about you? Past, Present, or Future?

" . . . I hope when I get old
I don't sit around thinking about it
But I probably will
Yeah, just sitting back trying to recapture
A little of the glory of,
Well time slips away
And leaves you with nothing mister but
Boring stories of glory days . . ."
-the Boss